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Great Client Quotes: Screw It

"I'm tired of feeling bad because I have executive function issues and other challenges. Who cares? If I can't do it, screw it!"

Private Coaching Client who recently passed the bar exam.

ADD Coaching Programs: Clutter Control and Time Management

The ADD Clutter Busters Workgroup was supposed to begin last week but was postponed when I came home sick from a conference. So we begin tonight, instead, and it's not too late to join!

In this 3-week coaching program, I'll walk you step-by-step and start to finish through the process of de-cluttering and organizing.

1. Stop procrastinating and make your clutter disappear
2. Create organizational systems that will work for you and with your ADD
3. Develop maintenance systems to keep the clutter away for good

This is also the last chance to join both the ADD Clutter Busters Workgroup AND the Time Management Masters Seminar at the discounted bundle price of $297 (a savings of $47.)

The Time Management Masters Seminar has been designed specifically for adults with ADD who are ready and willing to create a practical--and permanent--time management system.

In this 4-week, virtual seminar that begins June 3, you'll:

• Learn practical time management techniques that are proven to work for adults with ADD
• Sculpt a time management system that will work specifically for you
• Decrease stress and overwhelm
• Finally get a handle on your time and tasks

To register for one or both of these programs, please visit the program websites:

ADD Clutter Busters Workgroup

Time Management Masters Seminar

Adults with ADD: Follow the Rules to Break Them

So this past weekend Erin and I played house when we took my 6 & 5 year old cousins, Michael and Alex, for a night. These kids are insanely cute, but they're a handful. Erin quickly deciphered Michael's MO: if no one's looking, the rules don't apply.

At 6 years old, Michael has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. He's got many ADHD traits, from hyperactivity to severe boredom after 60 seconds of inactivity. And keeping up with him is a challenge.

It also forced me to think about the concept of "the rules" in a new way.

In my book, Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD, I talk about how to be happy and successful by breaking the rules. And as I observed Michael jumping on the bed the very minute I turned my back, I started to wonder if I was a hypocrite. I encourage being a maverick and breaking the rules, and yet I lectured this kid on "the rules" more times than I care to remember.

After some long, hard thought and meditation, I came to this conclusion: sometimes, you have to follow the rules in order to break them.

I coach clients on this all the time, actually. Many situations in our lives are a means to an end. Sometimes we have to play the game in order to get through to the other side and change the game. Take, for example:

• The client who struggles to follow a specific format for her dissertation. The dissertation is one of the things she needs to get her Ph.D. And once she has that Ph.D., she can call the shots about what she studies and how she presents it.
  
• The client who has to painstakingly document every sketch, conversation, and thought he's ever had about his invention in order to protect it. He's breaking the rules and creating a number of cool inventions, and yet there are very specific--and unbelievably detailed--legal guidelines he has to follow in order to get there.
• The client who has been told that she's next in line for her boss's job, yet continually gets disciplined for being late. She single-handedly landed the two biggest clients her company has ever seen, but being 10 minutes late in the morning often gets more attention. She has to stay in her boss's good graces to ensure that she makes it long enough to get that promotion and be the one in charge.

And, of course, there's 6 year old Michael, who has to follow the rules until he's old enough to break them. He has to stay safe, go to school, and learn what he's good at. Then, when he's old enough, he'll be in a better position to embrace that inner maverick. And I know that he'll relish breaking those rules and living out loud.

In what ways have you found yourself following the rules in order to break them? Please share your story in the comments!

Tea for ADD?

Posted by Sharon Howell, ADD Management Group Coach

I am not a tea drinker. But, because of an article I read recently, I am considering trying it.

According to research done by John Foxe, professor of neuroscience and an expert on the mechanisms of attention at the City University of New York, not only does tea make people feel relaxed, but it also seems to make them more alert. According to Foxe’s research, the amino acid theanine, found in black, green and oolong teas, decreases the brain’s alpha rhythms when people are performing complex tasks requiring attention, helping them to pay closer attention. He also suggests that the theanine combined with the caffeine in tea improves performance more than either substance by itself.

Everything we consume has an affect on our health. If a cup or two of tea each day can make you think more clearly, it may be worth a try. Chocolate seems to help some people. Why not tea? You could put the two together for a late morning or afternoon snack and see how it works!

For Your Distraction: Happy Mother's Day!

Odd One Out is a Finalist in the Indie Excellence Awards!

We got news yesterday that my book, Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD, is a FINALIST in the 2008 Indie Excellence Book Awards!

I'm so excited about this. Although Odd One Out didn't actually win the category, being one of three finalists is one hell of an honor!!

In Other News...

Last weekend I attended the AD/HD Coaches Organization annual conference in St. Louis and had a great time connecting with fellow coaches. And I want to give a special shout out to Charlotte, who brought her Odd One Out book all the way from Denmark for me to sign! I wish I took a picture of us to share.

Unfortunately, I came home from the conference feeling under the weather. I blame it on the hotel which must have been loaded with dust and mold because it gave me awful asthma...and I haven't had asthma since I was a kid! If you're ever in St. Louis, don't stay at the Holiday Inn Oakland Park. Seriously.

As a result, I had to take a few days off to recuperate, and I ended up having to postpone the ADD Clutter Busters Workgroup! Fortunately, all the members were very kind and understanding, and the group will now begin on May 13.

And lastly, Erin and I are in for a wild ride this weekend as we're watching my cousin's kids for the night. Michael and Alex are 6 and 5, extremely cute, and incredibly hyper. We have a full day planned tomorrow, and I'm sure it will be both fun and taxing. Let's see if Erin still wants kids when it's all over!

Have a great weekend!

ADD Book Club: Not Too Late to Join this Month!

This month the ADD Book Club is discussing Nancy Ratey's new book, The Disorganized Mind: Coaching Your ADHD Brain to Take Control of Your Time, Tasks, and Talents.

The book club is offered through ADDclasses.com and is led by coaches Scott Lewis and Cindy Giardina. Cindy told me recently that the book club is a supportive environment in which ADDers, especially those who are newly diagnosed, can learn about ADD while connecting with peers.

And the great thing about this book club is that Cindy and Scott don't just facilitate a conversation about the books, they also help members act on the lessons and strategies that the authors offer.

I've heard great things about The Disorganized Mind and I can't wait to read it, myself! If you'd like to join the ADD Book Club, you can find out more here.

Great Client Quotes:Messes

“I need someone to clean up the messes I make because I’m too busy making them.”

JeanneMarie, in the Odd One Out Coaching Program

Great Client Quotes: ADDers

"I've read recently on a couple of blogs that the term "ADDer" has been deemed offensive by some folks...As you might expect, I also have an opinion on the subject: if you're looking for a cause to fight for, this isn't a worthy one."

- ADD-Libber
From the post Name it so you can claim it.

Authenticity and ADD

The ADD community has been pretty vocal lately, as you may be aware.

Some people feel that they are being taken advantage of by ADD professionals who market their services online.

And others are upset about what they consider to be the high fees for ADD-related products and services. They want to know why getting help costs so much money.

Maybe you've been wondering about these things, too?

I think it's time for me to weigh in.

Hey, What's That Smell?

One of the things I pride myself on is authenticity.

When you read my book, newsletters, or blog, you're reading my authentic voice. Clients, friends, and family members have all commented that reading my book is like having a conversation with me.

The same is true when you coach with me, either privately or in a group. I say what I think in the way that I think it will be best received.

In fact, the only thing I hold back on in my life and my work is swearing. I curse like a truck driver. Some people are fine with this, and I try to tone it down for others. And I caused quite a few jaws to drop when I accidentally let the s-word slip at Disney a few years ago. It could have been much worse-believe me.

Here's what I really think about authenticity and ADD:

While some people believe that adults with ADD can be easily taken advantage of, I actually think that the vast majority of us can smell a bullshit artist a mile away. I know I certainly can.

I can also tell when well-meaning people say or do things that don't come across the way they intend them to.

Have YOU ever stuck your foot in your mouth? Ever said something that came out completely wrong and ended up hurting someone's feelings? I have. Many times.

So I try not to hold it against other people who are saying one thing when they actually mean another. Sometimes the best intentions are overshadowed by poor communication.

That said,...

One Size Does Not Fit All in the World of ADD

If you take medication for ADD, then you know that there are a bunch of different meds out there and that it can take a while to find the one that works for you. And then it can take a while to find the right dose!

And if you've read a bunch of books on ADD, then you probably found one or two that you didn't like as much as everyone else did. The same holds true for websites, support groups, and other resources. You might find value in something that others don't.

We all have ADD, but we're all individuals.

This applies to marketing, too. My sense is that many people have been turned off not so much by the ADD professionals who are marketing themselves, but by the one-size-fits-all marketing approaches that they've encountered.

These marketing approaches can sometimes come off as sleazy or, worse yet, inauthentic. If you find yourself turned off by such an approach, then that's okay.

If you don't like the way one person markets their services, you can always find what you're looking for elsewhere.

Take this newsletter, for example. Some people are going to hear my voice and instantly relate to it. Others won't. That's the way it goes.

And you know what, that's a good thing! If someone doesn't relate to me, or even like me, that's okay. I don't like everyone, either! And the good news is that there are plenty of other ADD coaches and service providers out there. It's not hard to find someone that you can relate to.

It's also worth noting that for many of us in the professional field, our work is our livelihood. Just like any other service provider, we have certain fees that we charge based on a number of factors, including our own experience and the value that people receive from our services.

If you wanted help with real estate, you'd pay more for personal advice from Donald Trump than you would to attend one of his seminars. And you'd pay more for his seminars than you would to read his books. The same is true in the world of ADD.

Which brings me to my last point. I have a very stong opinion about finding help for ADD:

If you NEED help for ADD, then don't look for it online. Look for a doctor, therapist, or support group in your local area. Sometimes you have to travel further than you would like or spend more than you want to, but it's worth it.

If you WANT help for ADD, but the situation isn't dire, then broaden your search beyond your local area. This is where the Internet and trends in global communication really pay off.

Just remember that there are plenty of professionals offering their services.

One size doesn't fit all.

What Do YOU Think?

I would really love to hear your thoughts on the subject of "authenticity and ADD."

Let's have a conversation. I encourage you to tell me what you think in the comments field below.