Managing Adult ADD is Like Riding a Bike

You've no doubt felt at least a tinge of overwhelm this week, as summer has 'officially' ended and September is here! It's back to school, back to the big projects at work, and back to life as we know it. And, dare I say it, stores have even begun busting out their holiday merchandise! Talk about pressure!

September is quite possibly the most stressful month of the year for adults with ADD. You may even find yourself slipping away from the ADD management routines, structure, and systems that you've previously created.

I've been hearing from a lot of clients who are getting down on themselves because the transition from summer to fall has been more difficult than they anticipated.

With this in mind, I'd like to offer you the following reminder: Managing adult ADD is like riding a bike.

Remember when you learned to ride a bike?

You probably started out with a tricycle when you were very young. At some point, you got the coveted two-wheeler with training wheels.

And eventually the day came that your parents told you it was time to take those training wheels off. Excitement and joy arose when a sunny spring day appeared and you knew it was your time to shine...to be a "big kid."

You probably resented the adult who held on to the back of the bike as you started pedaling in what would be your first-ever bike ride without training wheels.

But what happened when that adult did eventually let go and you were left to ride on your own?

You fell.

Splat! Right over on your side. You thought you could do it, but it turned out balancing on two wheels is a lot harder than balancing on four.

Maybe you cried. Maybe you skinned a knee or an elbow. Perhaps you found your little self completely disappointed and frustrated about what you thought you could do without effort.

But no matter how you felt, you got up and got back on that bike. Maybe right away, and maybe not until a week later. But you got back on the bike. You practiced.

You fell many more times, but you kept getting back on that bike, because you knew that the only way you'd ever learn how to ride that bike was to keep getting back on it.

And now, as an adult, you know how to ride a bike. You may not do it very often, and you may fall every now and then, but you know how to ride a bike.

So what makes you think that managing your ADD is any different than riding a bike?

What makes you think that the minute you set your mind to something, you can instantly accomplish it?

Organization, time management, better focus and concentration, emotional regulation...they all require practice. They require extra effort in times of overwhelm, like the kind we're all experiencing now as life kicks back into high gear.

Learning to manage ADD is like learning to ride a bike. Expect a learning curve. Expect quite a few falls. Expect a hard time finding your balance. And rest assured that one of these days ADD management will be second nature.

Until then, don't get down on yourself when you fall. No matter how bad things seem to be going, no matter how many times you fall, always get back on the bike.

Do you have thoughts on this topic that you'd like to share? Please do so in the comments field!

Comments

[Doug E]

Actually, Fall is my favorite time of year.

People finally getting back on schedule; kids back in school (and generally off the streets during the morning); people not assuming EVERYONE is on summer vacation and etc.

Owning a business, I find I'm working just about every day. Summer for me is telling people I can't come to their picnics that start at noon on Thursday or Friday.

So, yeah, I'm soooo happy it's Fall. Welcome back everbody. I've been waiting for you!

[maggie]

I teach high school, so this time of year is always the most stressful, and this year has been exceptionally so because of a sudden convergence of random events. My car got broken into on the second teacher workday before school started and insurance doesn't cover it; money was tight all summer because I had been waiting to get a reimbursement check from my school for a big training program I attended; my sister just moved from here to Portland; mo mother is calling to vent every other day because my grandmother is moving in with them; my husband's family is in an uproar over their own crazy issues and drama; I agreed to sponsor a GSA at my school at the end of last year and I've been really stressed about the potential of a backlash from the pretty conservative community I work in; I've taken on extra responsibility of leading my department's professional learning community; I've launched the use of several new technologies with my students for this year but, over the summer the technology department completely redid the schools servers so nothing works right; and on and on. I've been so much more stressed lately than I ever remember being that I've developed twitches in my eye and my thumb. I also managed to oversleep for work the other day for the first time in years. You can't believe how much this post was exactly what I needed to hear today to help me get a grip and get back on the bike. Thanks!

[Susan]

Jennifer this email could not have come at a better time for me than right now. Like Maggie I am also a teacher and today was a lousy day! It takes me time to get my classes structured again. I know in two weeks it will be fine but the first week is not easy. I sympathize with the freshmen because my classes are in different rooms throughout the day and I forget where my classes are! I forget my dittos. I even forgot my pocketbook today!
I have been teaching almost 20 years and the first week is always difficult. It was much harder when my own children were in school.
My husband took me out for dinner tonight and reminded me that I experience this stress every year and say that it will be my last year teaching. Then he said that it always does get better. So I smiled when I read your email. You and my husband alike know what you are talking about!

[David B. Dionne]

Hey ... Jen, remember me?

I wore out 2 sets of training wheels and my Father refused to buy a 3rd.

I used to ride into the grass of the vacant lot next to our driveway, so when I fell, it did not hurt.

Actual learning is a longer story ...

David

[Lynda]

Hi! I finally have my own personal copy of your ODD ONE OUT book which I purchased on credit from Amazon. I love ordering books from Amazon on ADHD management. I received 3 books, one after another - and I feel so overjoyed about having something uplifting and upbuilding to read in order to improve my attitude and mgmt of my ADHD.

I'm very fortunate that I've been off work for a wee while now (on employment insurance in Canada) and it has given me an opportunity to rid myself of my clutter in my tiny apt condo in downtown Calgary.

I also have started to do a job-hunt, and as much as one good friend of mine wishes I would set my sights on the "good old full time job that pays well" I am only too happy to start small and be happy with my small successes, i.e. doing reception work which plays up my positive qualities of being highly personable and bright and cheery and smiley. Working with Seniors is another positive for me coz I like to be helpful and I have always gotten along with older folks.

Just getting to work on time is a big achievement for me and so is having my home-caring routine in full swing. When I am loading the dishwasher at night and unloading it in the morning, I know something is going right. Ditto with making my bed in the morning and not having a build up of laundry from the previous week to do in addition to this week's to do.

Having food in the fridge, groceries done... knowing what is for dinner - all this means I'm doing something right.

I am so happy with these little things for now.

I have a real struggle with being oppositional/being told what to do in the workplace/being overly structured/being overly serious just doesn't fit me. I used to work in the corporate world and that setting is no longer a fit AT ALL.

I am a bit of a Maverick as you say but does that pay my bills adequately or will it? I think I could make it... meanwhile.... it is all about getting comfortable in my own skin and embracing my ADHD... this is not as easy as everyone says or as easy as I imagined it would be.

It is very difficult to embrace my inability to achieve certain goals I set for myself - especially due to my perfectionistic streak.

Thanks for writing ODD ONE OUT. I have much to read and learn yet.

To celebrate the change in season from Summer to Fall, I am planning to invest in some good quality bed linens that are deep orange and pale yellow or pale orange and deep yellow, I don't know yet!

I really love making my bed in the morning as it gives me something to look forward to doing at the end of a busy day - and it feels so special when I tuck myself in for the night, after taking my night-time meds. I also keep a glass of water and my Adderall XR in a little tiny glass "jam jar" on my bedside table so that as soon as I awaken, I can take those and find the waking up process that much easier, so I can get to work on time!

Cheerio for now, thanks for all the fine insights, Ms. Koretsky.

Regards,

Lynda

For me, it isn't as easy as riding a bike. I've never managed my ADD. It has been a nightmare that won't stop. I've tried several medication and nothing has worked so far. I wish I could get the right meds to help me. There are days it is just plain torture.