Adults with ADD: Doing Projects the Hard Way

You want to get your (actual) butt in shape? Try loading a wheelbarrow with 100 lbs and then pushing it up a steep hill. Then do it a few more times, and repeat the following day.

This is what I did over the weekend, as I tried to create a planting bed around my house. It turns out that I am an absolute expert when it comes to gardening the hard way.

The last time I worked on the landscape, I planted a few shrubs and thought that I could easily dig up the ground. WRONG. Digging up our compacted, rocky soil turned out to be a lot of hard work. I remember my arms and shoulders being sore for days afterward. I vowed to do it "the easy way" next time.

So when I read an article about making a "lazy bed," I was on board. The technique involves laying down newspaper and then covering it with soil, compost, and mulch. Then you wait a few months while the newspaper decomposes and the compost loosens up the ground below. By the end of the season, your bed is ready for planting. Sounds easy, right? Once again, WRONG.

Perhaps I should have considered:

• Trying this technique with a smaller bed
• The constant wind we get because we live on a big hill (keeping the newspapers from blowing away before I could cover them was harder than I thought)
• The hours and hours and hours that would be involved from start to finish
• Ten or so wheelbarrow trips would--literally--bust my butt! (I was so sore!!)

I did, eventually, complete my project. But it certainly wasn't the easy route.

As a fellow ADDer, you're probably all too familiar with situations like mine. You get a great idea, dive in, and then find that your idea will require more time, energy, and resources than you thought it would.

The options you're left with are 1) quit 2) burn yourself out to finish or 3) make a plan to finish over time. (The third option is often the hardest for adults with ADD.) And no matter which option you choose, the most important thing you can do is to learn from your mistakes.

It's tempting to get down on yourself after experiences like these. Despite your best intentions and careful planning, "the easy way" can turn out to be very difficult. And while this may feel like failure, it's really just a learning experience.

It doesn't matter how hard your project turns out to be. It doesn't matter how many ways you miscalculated your plans. If you're open to learning, then you can't fail.

Each mistake you make brings you one step closer to a solution. Sometimes, you have to make a lot of mistakes to get to where you want to go. But if you're willing to learn from your mistakes, then you'll always be moving forward.

So the next time your "easy" project turns out to be harder than you thought, DON'T beat yourself up about it. Just take a trial-and-error approach. I guarantee you'll be much more successful!

As for me and my landscaping projects, I now know that digging doesn't work, and lazy beds are anything but lazy. I think it's time to rent a rototiller.

What projects have you been doing the hard way?
Share your thoughts in the comments field!

Comments

[Becca Colao]

Geez, Jennifer, I was about to say: time to get the right tools, because that can make things a lot easier! But you figured that out, too, assuming you actually went to rent a decent roto-tiller. And got proper instructions for use. Sometimes I think a lot of us would do better with some hands-on engineering training - and problem-solving training, because we're so darned good at making things harder than they need to be.

[nan]

Gardening is one of the few jobs I have given myself permission to just "let it be". I do worry some about the neighbors who have incredible landscaping and flower gardens that they design themselves. All are men who's wives have no interest in these projects. I am alone and hope this is a good enough excuse. It overwhelmed me when I purchased 50 - 60 pretty flowering plants, lined them up on the driveway and had no idea where to begin. I felt completely stupid because I couldn't do this " easy" task that EVERYONE else took great pleasure in. I got your book,ODD ONE OUT, and it has become my bible in learning to deal with myself and ADD. I am 72 yrs old and am finally able to understand and like "doing it my way". I can no longer live to please others cuz it took all my energy. I now live to please myself because I understand that I have a different set of rules. Thank you for your wonderful book!
Nan in Colorado

[laurie]

I have a 22 year old son who has ADHD and I have recently been diagnosed with ADD. We are a dysfunctional pair at times. I dread making an intervention because I make it harder for myself and then it fails. I have become smarter lately, by using questio ns starting with what or how and it is much easier. It has taken me four months in a coaching class to get it write. Hopefully he will continue to listen and think about his thinking.

[Thulane]

I like the example you gave and this is often the case. I wanted to cancel a debit ifrom my bank account and it took forever to do. Forever for me was one hour. I panicked so much that I forgot my PIN and had to phone up the bank 7 times. However eventually I got it done. It was hard but I did not give up. As a suggestion for your garden, try digging after its rained or watering the part you want to dig before digging it. I have a rocky garden as well and this works for me.