This "inspirational" quote is dangerous for adults with ADD, especially those who struggle with perfectionism. (And I haven't met a single adult with ADD who doesn't get stuck in perfectionist mode in at least one or two areas.) "Delay is preferable to error" could be adopted as a motto for perfectionists.
If you've ever coached with me, then you know that I can easily pick up on perfectionist tendencies, probably because I've struggled with them, myself, in the past (and still do in certain situations.)
When I was going through my coach training, David Giwerc taught us, "Remember PPP! Perfectionism Prevents Progress!" This really stuck with me, and I share it with clients often.
People mistakenly believe that perfectionists are, well...perfect. That their houses and offices are clean and sparkling, that everything is in its place, and that every project is right on schedule.
In reality, perfectionists often feel like failures. The mark of perfectionism is that nothing ever gets completed! There's always one more thing that could be made better. Nothing is good enough to be considered "done." And when all that unfinished business piles up, a perfectionist feels guilt and shame.
Three examples come to mind when I think about how adults with ADD can get stuck in thinking that delay is preferable to error:
Mindy, a former client and a grad student at an Ivy League University, failed a number of assignments because she didn't turn them in on time. They weren't incomplete, just not perfect. The thought of getting a B for a good job was not good enough. She preferred to get an F for a perfect, late paper than a B for an on time, imperfect paper. Her professors--and the university--disagreed. (I've found that many students--college age and adult--struggle with this form of perfectionism.)
Pete, also a former client, was frustrated by the outdated software programs in his office, so he created a software program that could be customized for sales people not just in his company, but in his entire industry. He delayed seeking out investors because he was constantly finding things to improve in his software program; it never felt finished. After tweaking the software for almost 2 years, someone else beat him to it with a similar program and made a small fortune.
As I've been learning how to play guitar, I've been getting caught up in the idea that I need to learn how to do something exactly right before I learn how to do it quickly. Brett, my guitar teacher, has been trying to drill into my head the idea that timing is more important in music. If you get the timing right and miss a few notes, the vast majority of people won't even notice. But if you get the timing wrong, listeners will know it. Think about it: when's the last time you went to a concert and witnessed a musician say, "Wait, hold up, that wasn't right! Let me do it again."??
So if you happen to see Thomas Jefferson's "Delay is preferable to error" quote floating around the Internet, do yourself a favor and ignore it. No one's perfect.
I could not agree more! I came across the following and have posted it in strategic places to remind myself to take it to heart: "Merely adequate is frequently sufficient."
Posted by: S.S. | Friday, November 27, 2009 at 08:13 PM
thanks so much for this incredible post. i cant count the ways this has messed up opportunities in my life? the question I really need help with is this: what is the checklist, the criteria, for good enough? how do i tell where it is? remember, add-ers honestly often do not know that their version of good enough is others version of perfect. i would love to have an inkling of what the rest of the world considers good enough. cuz i am always shocked at it! I am not opposed to turning in that which is good enough by the rest of the worlds standards as opposed to my own, but my barometer for that is hopelessly broken. i wish i had a checklist to give me a clue as to what constitutes good enough for others
Posted by: suzannah | Wednesday, December 09, 2009 at 04:31 AM