I think this is a great representation of how a lot of adults with ADD feel: tired, downtrodden, and hopeless. And for many of us, the basis of these negative feelings is an overwhelming desire to fit in, follow "the rules," and be just like everyone else.
Bleh! Just thinking about that makes me want to go back to bed. So let me tell you a brief story...
Before my book was published in 2007, I brainstormed titles and subtitles with my Mastermind Group of coaches. The title Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD was born out of that meeting.
A week later, I came up with the subtitle: How to Be Happy and Successful by Breaking the Rules. I loved it! It was a fantastic summary of my personal coaching philosophy. I sent it around to some close friends and colleagues and asked for feedback.
A few people liked it a lot, but a couple of people emailed me with the same concern: they suggested I use the subtitle "How to Be Happy and Successful by Making Your Own Rules," instead of "...by Breaking the Rules."
Breaking the rules seemed a little too strong, they said. And really it means the same thing in the end, doesn't it?
I thanked everyone for their feedback, and chose NOT to change the subtitle. Here's why: Mavericks aren't content to just make new rules. Mavericks don't even like rules. And we tend to not like the people who make the rules much, either.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not encouraging anyone to indulge in a crime spree. What I am suggesting, however, is that there are a number of social rules and constraints that many ADDers struggle to adhere to, and that these rules do, in fact, need to be broken.
Think about all the rules that you feel pressured to follow, like:
- You must put money before happiness when it comes to your job or career
- You must sit perfectly still in a meeting or classroom so as not to disrupt others
- You must have a super-clean houses if you have guests over
- You must put everything away in a neat and tidy place if you want to be organized
- You must put the needs of your family and friends before your own needs
- You must be productive throughout the entire day
- And worst of all - you must do everything in your power to hide your ADD from everyone around you
I call BS on all these rules, and the others like them!
Maverick ADDers actually function better with guidelines instead of rules. When we create structure for ourselves, it needs to flexible, not rigid.
The maverick approach to ADD management requires that you take a good, hard look at the rules you're pressuring yourself to follow, and decide which ones need to be broken.
When you embrace the maverick within and make a conscious decision to break the rules that have been holding you back, you give yourself permission to be happy and successful according to your own guidelines. You move beyond your challenges, and into your authentic self.
In this regard, the maverick approach to ADD management is easier than you might think. Following the rules can be painful... but breaking them can set you free.
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