An interactive blog for the adult ADD community.
Brought to you by Jennifer Koretsky, Senior Certified AD/HD Coach, Founder of ADD Management Group, Inc., and Director of the Virtual AD/HD Conference.
Maroon 5 singer and The Voice judge Adam Levine comes out as having ADHD in a new national campaign that encourages young people to "own" their ADHD. S uch a great message! Now if he would just be nicer to Christina Aguilera...
Justin Timberlake, who has previously shared his own ADHD diagnosis, admits that he regularly smokes pot. He says that marijuana helps him "stop thinking" and "turn his brain off." Sounds like someone is self medicating!
The reviews are in and the AD/HD Medication Matters Summit was a huge success! Even though the live event is over, you can still register to access the presentations and materials.
The song Sail by Awolnation, which contains the lyrics "Blame it on my ADD, baby", is being played on my preferred radio station waaaaaaay too much. I like a good ADD mention in music, but this song is just not that good!
That's the ADD / ADHD news on my radar. What's the news on yours?
I guess I'm sensitive to this because of my profession as an AD/HD Coach, but have you ever noticed that life coaches on television are always evil? I mean, like, evil.
Remember Ava Moore from Nip/Tuck? (I miss that show.) As wikipedia puts it, she was "a sexual predator who targets and exploits the emotionally weak in order to manipulate them for her own amusement." Yeah, and that was just the beginning.
The best example by far, however, is the character of Jordan Chase on the current season of Dexter. (Spoiler alert: if you're not up to date on the series, it's probably best to stop reading.) Man, this dude is fucked up.
So far, we know that he was a fat kid who gained his personal power by inciting gang rape and torture. Now he's a handsome, uber famous life coach and public figure (a la Tony Robbins) who encourages people to figure out what they want and "take it now!" And, big surprise, he still gets his kicks by inciting gang rape and torture behind the scenes. As of the last episode, he's aparently graduated to actually performing the violence himself, instead of just cheering from the sidelines.
If you've never watched Dexter on Showtime, then you're no doubt grimacing right now. It's some really sick stuff. But if you're a fan of Dexter, this is the stuff of your usual Sunday night. Well, that, and empathizing with a lovable and well-meaning serial killer. On a tangent, the books that the show is based on are different, but equally good. I actually have the fourth book in the series sitting on my dresser right now, but I can't read it while I'm pregnant because 1) it will give me too much anxiety and 2) I'm afraid that Dexter will get into the head of my unborn baby and I'll end up gestating a serial killer. But I digress...
My "favorite" thing about Jordan Chase is the way he talks to his clients, as evidenced by this clip (skip ahead to the 0:38 second mark if you like):
Jordan Chase tells his client that he's disgusted with them, and that the client is "being a piece of furniture." HA! I cracked up when I saw that. I was laughing so hard that I had to rewind the scene.
Coaches: Can you imagine talking to a client like that?
Clients: Can you imagine paying someone to talk to you like that?
Dominatrices: Isn't that more along the lines of what you do? You know, insulting and degrading people? (And you get paid a whole lot more than I do for it!)
The media's portrayal of life coaches is certainly misled. It's scary. And it's fiction.
Coaching, whether it's life coaching or AD/HD coaching, is about helping the client move past the areas of dissatisfaction in their life. It's about helping them in the places where they feel stuck, figuring out what's not working, and identifying what is working or what will work. Coaching is not about the coach or the coach's ego. It's about the client. And it should be an overall positive experience.
So if you've ever considered working with a coach, be it a life coach, an AD/HD coach, or any other kind of coach, then don't let the Ava Moores and the Jordan Chases dissuade you. Qualified coaches won't insult you or degrade you. On the contrary, we'll help you focus on your strengths and successes so that you can move forward in life.
(But if you do want me to insult you, degrade you, or otherwise make you feel bad about yourself, then you can ditch the "Coach" title and call me "Mistress Jen." And triple my fee.)
I've never been shy about admitting that I'm a reality show junkie. I have been ever since the very first season of The Real World on MTV. Many years later, the cable channel Bravo has taken over as the reality show leader, with gems like Top Chef, The Real Housewives, and--one of my favorites--The Millionaire Matchmaker.
The Millionaire Matchmaker centers around Patti Stanger, who founded "The Millionaire's Club." You probably heard about this type of business long before the show premiered. Patti sets up rich, ugly guys with zero personality with hot, young chicks. (Occasionally there's a millionairess who is, ahem, "looking for love," but it's mostly skeezy guys.) Cutting through the bullshit, the men want trophy wives/girlfriends, and the women want sugar daddies.
I recently got a taste of this firsthand when spending time with a family friend, who is one of those hot, young chicks, and her sugar daddy. I couldn't help observing that being one of those trophy partners is a job in and of itself. While the sugar daddies have the easy job of spending lots of money, the trophies have a much harder job: they have to feign interest.
Now I'm no young hottie, and I'd never be accepted into Patti Stanger's club. But watching these two interact, I realized that I could never be a gold digger for one, overwhelming reason: I'd be really fucking bored.
As you know, I have AD/HD, and if you're reading this post then you probably have AD/HD, too. So think about this with me: how hard would it be to keep a sugar daddy or sugar momma?
You have to pretend to be interested in what they have to say. Really, I think it's safe to say that they're all narcissists who just loooooove to talk about themselves. Have you ever gotten cornered at the office or at a party by someone who just wanted to go on and on about themselves, when you could care less? I used to be polite and just stand there pretending to listen while my mind drifted elsewhere. But the older I get, the less willing I am to suffer fools.
You have to sit through long, lingering meals. I love good food. But I'm a pain in the ass at slow-paced restaurants. Don't get me wrong, I actually really appreciate the slow-food movement, and the best restaurants really do embrace that culture. But I still get antsy. I don't like to sit anywhere for too long. You could take me to the most expensive restaurant in Paris and I guarantee that, at some point, I will cut you off mid-sentence to say, "Where the hell is the fooooood?!?"
You have to attend social functions with even more boring sugar daddies. Sure, I'd probably use the opportunity to share gold-digging tips with other trophies, and that would be interesting for a little while. But I don't dare go to a movie that lasts longer than two hours. I can't even imagine having to stand around being quiet and looking pretty while listening to all those narcissists go on and on about themselves and their money until the early morning hours. I think I'd actually rather sit through a ridiculously long James Cameron movie.
And, probably the most difficult part of all, you have to have sex with them. I'll leave this one to your imagination. But if you think dinners and social functions are boring, just imagine what a boring nightmare sex would be.
It all comes down to this: Boredom is torture to my AD/HD brain, and I'd rather be poor and occupied than rich and bored. But maybe it speaks to my credit that I'd make a lousy gold digger.
Have you seen this video? It's a must-watch! Thanks to my client, C, for passing it along. I've never heard of the band but, based on this song/video, I'd love to see them make it big!
What's your favorite part? Tell me in the comments!
A few days ago, ADD coaching client Traci Montgomery was telling me how super-organized her ADD partner is when it comes to playing Facebook games. I commented that I've heard this quite a bit, and that I should write a blog post about AD/HD and Facebook.
In response, Traci sent me a list of titles that I could use for that post. It's a humorous exploration of the downside to that endless distraction we call 'Facebook,' and I couldn't resist sharing it!
With her permission, here is Traci's list:
Two and a Half Degrees of Separation
How to Farm Your Way to Divorce
Why Facebook Should Require Medical Certification That You Do Not Have ADD
How to Apply Your Facebook Organization to Real Life
Why Not Go Outside and Plant Real Vegetables?
Facebook: How To Reconnect with People You Didn’t Like 20 Years Ago
Facebook: Quit Posting Your Every Thought to My Wall …
I’m Busy Farming and Treasure Hunting
Need to Keep Track of Your Farm(s), Treasure(s), and Yo Quest for Perfect Cookies? Ask an ADDer.
Real World: Friend Request Denied: I Didn’t Want to Be Your Friend 20 Years Ago So Why Would I Want to Now?
Facebook: How to Consolidate Your SPAM Onto a Wall
My Significant Other is Having a Heart Attack … How Long Until 911 Accepts My Friend Request?
ADD Friendly Ways To Stop Thinking For Yourself and Consolidate Your Friends’ Thoughts Into Your Own
How to Use Facebook to Lose Custody of Those Pesky Kids
What Do You Mean ADDers Aren’t Organized? Just Check Out Their Farms…
This Week On Dateline: How Facebook Will Lead to the 2012 Apocalypse
Tune In to http://www.facebook.com/Newspaper to See How PETA Plans to Protest the Inhumane Storage of Animals On Farmville
Can I Be Arrested if my FooPet Starves To Death?
I marked my favorites in bold. And to that list I'll add:
ADD Hyperfocus: Please Post about Something Other than Chicken Coops in Your Status Updates
What would you add to this list? Please leave a comment with your title suggestions. I'll compile them in a new post next week.
This should be fun!
By the way, I would link to Traci's Facebook page, but she's managed to avoid this distraction! Unlike me and my book.
A few months ago I wandered into the family room while she was watching the National Spelling Bee. And although I protested at first, I'm glad I walked in when I did, because I caught what might be the most awkward--and absolutely funniest--moment of any spelling bee ever.
Every now and then, I randomly remember this moment and crack up on the spot. Like last night, while we were seconds away from sleep. I remembered this poor kid and the perplexed look on his face, and I completely woke myself up (Erin, too) by laughing my ass off.
Once again, I have a great site for you to distract yourself with today as you anxiously await the weekend. And this one is nothing less than brilliant.
Postcards From Yo Momma is a blog that has taught me a valuable lesson: my mother is a cliche.
Apparently, everyone's mother is overly anxious, ridiculously paranoid, and has trouble "learning the computer." See for yourself...
Look who finally learned the computer. Dad set me up email ACCOUNT AND
ALSO SHOWED ME HOW TO GO ONLINE.I DON’T KNOW WHY EVERYTHING IS SUDDENLY
WRITING BIG LIKE THIS, SO JUST IGNORE IT.
Did you just try to reach me on my cell? I tried to call you back at
work but it was one of those weird busy signals — where it is
immediately busy so you can assume something is wrong.
I'm highly distracted today because, well, it's just that kinda day! I've spent the last hour studying this incredible theory of the story that will be revealed on my absolute favorite obsession show, Lost.
Warning, only click through to that link if:
You live for Lost.
You have an hour to kill. (And I really do mean an hour to kill. If you're procrastinating on something important right now, save this distraction for another day!)
You actually want to read what could prove to be a major series spoiler.
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