An interactive blog for the adult ADD community.
Brought to you by Jennifer Koretsky, Senior Certified AD/HD Coach, Founder of ADD Management Group, Inc., and Director of the Virtual AD/HD Conference.
Maroon 5 singer and The Voice judge Adam Levine comes out as having ADHD in a new national campaign that encourages young people to "own" their ADHD. S uch a great message! Now if he would just be nicer to Christina Aguilera...
Justin Timberlake, who has previously shared his own ADHD diagnosis, admits that he regularly smokes pot. He says that marijuana helps him "stop thinking" and "turn his brain off." Sounds like someone is self medicating!
The reviews are in and the AD/HD Medication Matters Summit was a huge success! Even though the live event is over, you can still register to access the presentations and materials.
The song Sail by Awolnation, which contains the lyrics "Blame it on my ADD, baby", is being played on my preferred radio station waaaaaaay too much. I like a good ADD mention in music, but this song is just not that good!
That's the ADD / ADHD news on my radar. What's the news on yours?
I guess I'm sensitive to this because of my profession as an AD/HD Coach, but have you ever noticed that life coaches on television are always evil? I mean, like, evil.
Remember Ava Moore from Nip/Tuck? (I miss that show.) As wikipedia puts it, she was "a sexual predator who targets and exploits the emotionally weak in order to manipulate them for her own amusement." Yeah, and that was just the beginning.
The best example by far, however, is the character of Jordan Chase on the current season of Dexter. (Spoiler alert: if you're not up to date on the series, it's probably best to stop reading.) Man, this dude is fucked up.
So far, we know that he was a fat kid who gained his personal power by inciting gang rape and torture. Now he's a handsome, uber famous life coach and public figure (a la Tony Robbins) who encourages people to figure out what they want and "take it now!" And, big surprise, he still gets his kicks by inciting gang rape and torture behind the scenes. As of the last episode, he's aparently graduated to actually performing the violence himself, instead of just cheering from the sidelines.
If you've never watched Dexter on Showtime, then you're no doubt grimacing right now. It's some really sick stuff. But if you're a fan of Dexter, this is the stuff of your usual Sunday night. Well, that, and empathizing with a lovable and well-meaning serial killer. On a tangent, the books that the show is based on are different, but equally good. I actually have the fourth book in the series sitting on my dresser right now, but I can't read it while I'm pregnant because 1) it will give me too much anxiety and 2) I'm afraid that Dexter will get into the head of my unborn baby and I'll end up gestating a serial killer. But I digress...
My "favorite" thing about Jordan Chase is the way he talks to his clients, as evidenced by this clip (skip ahead to the 0:38 second mark if you like):
Jordan Chase tells his client that he's disgusted with them, and that the client is "being a piece of furniture." HA! I cracked up when I saw that. I was laughing so hard that I had to rewind the scene.
Coaches: Can you imagine talking to a client like that?
Clients: Can you imagine paying someone to talk to you like that?
Dominatrices: Isn't that more along the lines of what you do? You know, insulting and degrading people? (And you get paid a whole lot more than I do for it!)
The media's portrayal of life coaches is certainly misled. It's scary. And it's fiction.
Coaching, whether it's life coaching or AD/HD coaching, is about helping the client move past the areas of dissatisfaction in their life. It's about helping them in the places where they feel stuck, figuring out what's not working, and identifying what is working or what will work. Coaching is not about the coach or the coach's ego. It's about the client. And it should be an overall positive experience.
So if you've ever considered working with a coach, be it a life coach, an AD/HD coach, or any other kind of coach, then don't let the Ava Moores and the Jordan Chases dissuade you. Qualified coaches won't insult you or degrade you. On the contrary, we'll help you focus on your strengths and successes so that you can move forward in life.
(But if you do want me to insult you, degrade you, or otherwise make you feel bad about yourself, then you can ditch the "Coach" title and call me "Mistress Jen." And triple my fee.)
I've never been shy about admitting that I'm a reality show junkie. I have been ever since the very first season of The Real World on MTV. Many years later, the cable channel Bravo has taken over as the reality show leader, with gems like Top Chef, The Real Housewives, and--one of my favorites--The Millionaire Matchmaker.
The Millionaire Matchmaker centers around Patti Stanger, who founded "The Millionaire's Club." You probably heard about this type of business long before the show premiered. Patti sets up rich, ugly guys with zero personality with hot, young chicks. (Occasionally there's a millionairess who is, ahem, "looking for love," but it's mostly skeezy guys.) Cutting through the bullshit, the men want trophy wives/girlfriends, and the women want sugar daddies.
I recently got a taste of this firsthand when spending time with a family friend, who is one of those hot, young chicks, and her sugar daddy. I couldn't help observing that being one of those trophy partners is a job in and of itself. While the sugar daddies have the easy job of spending lots of money, the trophies have a much harder job: they have to feign interest.
Now I'm no young hottie, and I'd never be accepted into Patti Stanger's club. But watching these two interact, I realized that I could never be a gold digger for one, overwhelming reason: I'd be really fucking bored.
As you know, I have AD/HD, and if you're reading this post then you probably have AD/HD, too. So think about this with me: how hard would it be to keep a sugar daddy or sugar momma?
You have to pretend to be interested in what they have to say. Really, I think it's safe to say that they're all narcissists who just loooooove to talk about themselves. Have you ever gotten cornered at the office or at a party by someone who just wanted to go on and on about themselves, when you could care less? I used to be polite and just stand there pretending to listen while my mind drifted elsewhere. But the older I get, the less willing I am to suffer fools.
You have to sit through long, lingering meals. I love good food. But I'm a pain in the ass at slow-paced restaurants. Don't get me wrong, I actually really appreciate the slow-food movement, and the best restaurants really do embrace that culture. But I still get antsy. I don't like to sit anywhere for too long. You could take me to the most expensive restaurant in Paris and I guarantee that, at some point, I will cut you off mid-sentence to say, "Where the hell is the fooooood?!?"
You have to attend social functions with even more boring sugar daddies. Sure, I'd probably use the opportunity to share gold-digging tips with other trophies, and that would be interesting for a little while. But I don't dare go to a movie that lasts longer than two hours. I can't even imagine having to stand around being quiet and looking pretty while listening to all those narcissists go on and on about themselves and their money until the early morning hours. I think I'd actually rather sit through a ridiculously long James Cameron movie.
And, probably the most difficult part of all, you have to have sex with them. I'll leave this one to your imagination. But if you think dinners and social functions are boring, just imagine what a boring nightmare sex would be.
It all comes down to this: Boredom is torture to my AD/HD brain, and I'd rather be poor and occupied than rich and bored. But maybe it speaks to my credit that I'd make a lousy gold digger.
Have you seen this video? It's a must-watch! Thanks to my client, C, for passing it along. I've never heard of the band but, based on this song/video, I'd love to see them make it big!
What's your favorite part? Tell me in the comments!
A few days ago, ADD coaching client Traci Montgomery was telling me how super-organized her ADD partner is when it comes to playing Facebook games. I commented that I've heard this quite a bit, and that I should write a blog post about AD/HD and Facebook.
In response, Traci sent me a list of titles that I could use for that post. It's a humorous exploration of the downside to that endless distraction we call 'Facebook,' and I couldn't resist sharing it!
With her permission, here is Traci's list:
Two and a Half Degrees of Separation
How to Farm Your Way to Divorce
Why Facebook Should Require Medical Certification That You Do Not Have ADD
How to Apply Your Facebook Organization to Real Life
Why Not Go Outside and Plant Real Vegetables?
Facebook: How To Reconnect with People You Didn’t Like 20 Years Ago
Facebook: Quit Posting Your Every Thought to My Wall …
I’m Busy Farming and Treasure Hunting
Need to Keep Track of Your Farm(s), Treasure(s), and Yo Quest for Perfect Cookies? Ask an ADDer.
Real World: Friend Request Denied: I Didn’t Want to Be Your Friend 20 Years Ago So Why Would I Want to Now?
Facebook: How to Consolidate Your SPAM Onto a Wall
My Significant Other is Having a Heart Attack … How Long Until 911 Accepts My Friend Request?
ADD Friendly Ways To Stop Thinking For Yourself and Consolidate Your Friends’ Thoughts Into Your Own
How to Use Facebook to Lose Custody of Those Pesky Kids
What Do You Mean ADDers Aren’t Organized? Just Check Out Their Farms…
This Week On Dateline: How Facebook Will Lead to the 2012 Apocalypse
Tune In to http://www.facebook.com/Newspaper to See How PETA Plans to Protest the Inhumane Storage of Animals On Farmville
Can I Be Arrested if my FooPet Starves To Death?
I marked my favorites in bold. And to that list I'll add:
ADD Hyperfocus: Please Post about Something Other than Chicken Coops in Your Status Updates
What would you add to this list? Please leave a comment with your title suggestions. I'll compile them in a new post next week.
This should be fun!
By the way, I would link to Traci's Facebook page, but she's managed to avoid this distraction! Unlike me and my book.
If you haven't heard about John Mayer's latest media debacle, then allow me to fill you in on the basics. In an interview with Playboy Magazine, John Mayer:
Likened Jessica Simpson to cocaine
Admitted to having a passion for pornography (a passion? really? not just a liking? cause a passion for porn is just creepy)
Claimed to have a "hood pass" (meaning black people like him...or used to)
Called his penis a "white supremacist" because he is only interested in sex with white women
Then, to top it all off, when he apologized for the interview, he claimed that he was trying to be intellectual. Um, yeah.
I've been cracking up about this interview and the media response since the story broke yesterday. My favorite was Whoopi Goldberg's response to Mayer's white supremacist penis: "Like I was looking," she said today on The View. Ha!
Now I have no idea as to whether or not John Mayer has ADD. But, clearly, John Mayer is guilty of not thinking before he speaks. And, truth be told, I've been known to do the same on occasion--although I'm pretty sure I've never said things quite that offensive.
Let's see...there are so many examples! Like this one time that I was talking to a big shot in the ad agency that I worked for a long time ago. I kind of forgot who I was talking to and inadvertently made fun of a campaign that he, himself, had created. I thought I was gonna get fired for that one, but I guess I lucked out!
I've worked with lots and lots of ADDers who have gotten into trouble with foot-in-mouth syndrome. The ADD brain often needs to be trained to put a buffer between the thought and the speech. And, in honor of John Mayer's goof, I thought it might be fun to share our foot-in-mouth ADD moments.
Please share your experiences in the comments field. Let's have a good laugh!
I really don't love sports. Never watch the Olympics. Couldn't care less about swimming. In fact, if Michael Phelps didn't have ADD, I really wouldn't care about him at all. But since he is a successful ADDer, he's on my radar, and I feel compelled to comment on the recent media attention he's received over being caught smoking pot.
Everyone seems to be so busy being politically correct and going on record to condemn Michael Phelps' behavior that no one is saying what many of us are thinking. So what?
Michael Phelps smoked pot. So what?
Did you ever smoke pot? I did. Granted, I haven't touched the stuff since college, but I smoked here and there, and I turned out okay. I also drank, smoked cigarettes, and had sex. I made good choices, and I made bad choices. And I turned out alright. In fact, I turned out pretty damn good.
I don't think Michael Phelps is a drug addict. I do think he's made some poor choices. When you're a public figure and viewed as a role model, you certainly want to be careful about what you do and who you do it with. And when you drink, you should NEVER drive a car. (I personally find this inexcusable.) But perhaps Michael Phelps' biggest crime in this pot smoking fiasco is quite simply being guilty of some ADD impulsiveness.
Is Michael Phelps still an ADD role model? Absolutely. His successes cannot be taken away from him. And his recent actions might even provide an excellent opportunity for parents to talk to their kids about drugs and drinking and the consequences of a person's choices and actions.
Need further convincing? See what Saturday Night Live's Seth Myers has to say about it. I couldn't agree more.
Howie Mandel "came out of the closet" about having ADHD today!
Howie teamed up with ADDA, CHADD, ACO, and Shire to create TV and radio Public Service Announcements, along with an informative website, AdultADHDisReal.com.
To see the PSA on TV, tune into the following national TV shows (check your local listings):
Friday, October 17: "Live with Regis and Kelly," "Access Hollywood," OK! Magazine, and "ABC News Now"
Monday, October 27: "Extra"
Wednesday, October 29: "Bonnie Hunt Show"
Tuesday, February 12, 2009: "The Ellen DeGeneres Show"
And here's some more info from the official press release:
NEW YORK, Oct. 16 /PRNewswire/ -- Howie Mandel, host of Deal or No Deal and 2008 Emmy Nominee, is raising awareness about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) in adults through the national multimedia public service announcement campaign Adult ADHD Is Real. This campaign and its Web site, AdultADHDIsReal.com, have been developed by a coalition of groups dedicated to ADHD education and awareness and made possible by Shire. As an adult living with ADHD, Howie will spread the word that ADHD is a real and treatable medical disorder and encourage adults who think they may have ADHD to seek diagnosis and evaluation.
“When I was in high school, my impulsivity led me to all kinds of acts and pranks. I had trouble sitting still and could hardly focus or pay attention in class. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I was diagnosed with ADHD,” said Howie. “I’m involved in the Adult ADHD Is Real campaign because I want adults to know that it’s never too late to seek help for ADHD. I hope that sharing my story encourages people to seek help. I didn’t let ADHD prevent me from achieving my goals and neither should anyone else.”
Many people may think of ADHD as a childhood disorder, but up to 65 percent of children with the disorder may still exhibit symptoms into adulthood. In US adults aged 18 – 44 the disorder affects approximately 4.4 percent of this population based on results from the National Comorbidity Survey Replication, a nationally representative household survey, which used a lay-administered diagnostic interview to access a wide range of DSM-IV disorders. When this percentage is extrapolated to the full US adult population, the disorder is estimated to affect approximately 10 million adults throughout the country.
“The symptoms of ADHD impact millions of adults at work, at home, and in relationships. The Adult ADHD Is Real campaign provides a much needed platform to educate people about the disorder,” said Lenard A. Adler, MD, Director of the Adult ADHD Program at NYU Langone Medical Center, Associate Professor of Psychiatry and Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at NYU School of Medicine, and author of Scattered Minds: Hope and Help for Adults with ADHD (G. P. Putnam’s Sons 2006). “Although there is no cure for ADHD, there are treatment plans available that may help successfully manage ADHD symptoms. It’s important to speak with a doctor if you think you may have the disorder.”
The multimedia campaign features Howie in television, radio, and print public service announcements. Howie will also share more of his personal story about living with ADHD through the campaign’s Web site, AdultADHDIsReal.com. The Web site provides additional information and resources for adults with ADHD, and encourages those who think they may have the disorder to take the adult ADHD self-screener and speak with their doctor.
AdultADHDIsReal.com also offers:
· Information about the symptoms of ADHD in adults and how they manifest differently in adults than in children · Resources to help people choose a health care professional · Links to view and listen to the public service announcements · Links to coalition patient support groups for additional information and assistance in managing ADHD in adults.
The Adult ADHD Is Real campaign is supported by a group of organizations to raise awareness of ADHD in adults and encourage people who think they may have the disorder to take an ADHD self-screener and speak with their doctor. These patient advocacy groups include the ADHD Coaches Organization (ACO), Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA), and Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD). Shire also supports the campaign.
The leaders of the following organizations, ACO, ADDA, and CHADD, have joined together in making the following statement: “It is imperative for the public to be aware that ADHD is a real disorder for those with ADHD, with potential consequences for adults with ADHD and everyone around them. We commend Howie for sharing his story and hope that it empowers other adults who think they may have the disorder to seek out more information on ADHD by visiting AdultADHDIsReal.com.”
About The Coalition The coalition for the Adult ADHD Is Real campaign consists of patient advocacy groups including ADHD Coaches Organization (ACO), Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA), and Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD). The coalition is dedicated to raising awareness about ADHD in adults as a real and treatable medical disorder. Shire also supports the campaign.
Picture it: Estelle Getty, Sophia from The Golden Girls, died last month. Instead of honoring a beloved actress from a beloved show, the entertainment reporters and gossip bloggers focus on berating the remaining Golden Girls cast--Bea Arthur, Betty White, and Rue McClanahan--for not attending Estelle Getty's funeral.
It seems like everyone is shoulding on The Golden Girls. "It doesn't matter why they didn't go," everyone is saying. "They should have attended Estelle Getty's funeral!"
I hate shoulds. I hate feeling like I should do something. And I really hate it when people tell me what they think I should or shouldn't do. People who feel the need to should others all the time often have very poor self-awareness. They take out their own issues on those around them by shoulding people. I have quite a few Shoulders in my family, so it drives me a little extra nuts.
Each of the Golden Girls had their reasons for not attending the funeral, which they each felt compelled to share after the media barraged them. But who cares? Their reasons don't matter. And neither do their actions...because they live their own lives and we live ours.
If Betty White decides that it's not in her best interest to attend a funeral, then that's that. If Bea Arthur decides not to go to a family wedding, then so be it.
And if Blanch Deveraux (aka Rue McClanahan) decides that she wants to buy condoms in order to be prepared for vacation sex, then more power to her. I just hope that, by now, Blanche and Dorothy know that lambskin condoms aren't the safest form of protection. (And they are actually lamb skin. Ew!) And while were at it, who would have thought that Rose was a little kinky?
Recent Comments