Experiencing ADDvantages

TV Junkie

Okay, I've said it before and I will admit it again: I like TV.

Drama, comedy, reality TV...there is so much to love!

TV gets a bad wrap but for many of us, TV allows us to relax, unwind, enjoy ourselves, learn something new and - in some cases - it provides a much-needed escape from the world. I like TV.

However, I'm currently experiencing one of my bi-yearly TV freak outs. In the spring and the fall when new seasons begin, there is so much good stuff on that I can't possibly watch it all. And I'm not kidding, this stresses me out.

Lost. Survivor. The L Word. Up until recently, these were the only 'must see' shows on my list. And then there is the DIY-channel home improvement stuff and the couple of MTV & VH1 reality shows that I catch when I can. It was doable.

But now The Sopranos is starting again. +1. The Apprentice is back. (I'm an entrepreneur, I can't help watching The Apprentice.) +2. I've heard a lot about a new comedy that looks right up my alley, Sons and Daughters, and I want to check it out. +3. I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting.

Ack! I hate being a slave to TV, but I can't help it. There is something about a great show that lights up my brain and inspires my creativity. Not to mention the fact that I very rarely watch TV without doing something else at the same time. So that's not so bad, is it? Do I sound like a TV junkie?? :)

Online Distractions

Uh-oh.  I'm about to break another rule...I'm going to offer up some distractions for all you fellow ADDers!

I know, I know, we don't need anymore distractions than we already have, right?  Well, honestly, sometimes I think distractions are necessary.  It's okay to take a break from work and browse the Net...as long as it's a controlled break and not excessive.  I do it all the time. 

Want to know where I go for online distractions?  Here's my list:

• Overheard In New York - Some of the funniest stuff you will ever read.
• The Daily Puppy - A new puppy every day.  And they're all so cute!
• Best Week Ever Blog - The best and funniest pop culture commentaries available.

Now you know what I'm doing when I'm not working.

Shane: Survivor's "ADD Psycho Boy"

ADD?  I hope not.  Psycho?  Maybe...

Why is it that every time someone on Survivor gets pegged as ADD, it's always some socially inept guy?

Last night on Survivor, the Casaya tribe's Shane started losing it.  He didn't want to be there.  He wanted to go home to his kid, his smokes, and his coffee.  He said that Survivor's island life was so slow and uncomfortable that it was driving him crazy.  He said his life at home was very fast paced, the way he liked it, and he referred to himself as "ADD psycho boy."

Again, let me just say: ADD?  I hope not - makes us look bad.  Psycho?  Maybe...

I would never want to be on Survivor.  I'm high maintenance.  I like my temporpedic bed.  I like my shower.  I like my stereo.  I wouldn't be willing to give it all up.

But, there is something extremely appealing about Survivor, and that is the challenge. 

ADDers thrive on stimulation.  We love challenge. The challenge of surviving on a deserted island is appealing to many, I'm sure.  But what is even more appealing is the concept wrapped up in the show's tag line: Outwit, Outlast, Outplay.

The idea of having to strategize and form alliances and outsmart the others is the ultimate turn on for many ADDers.  Me included.  It's the type of stimulation that we just love.  It's the type of stimulation that keeps us up at night with racing thoughts.

So is Shane ADD?  I'm thinking no.  Psycho?  The jury is still out on that one.  Let's wait and see.

Paying the Price for Procrastination

My clients and I often talk about how ADDers frequently procrastinate until the last minute, then jump into overdrive and get the job done.

I always say – “It works, but you pay a price.” This article on Stress and the Immune System is about how excess stress (and excess adrenaline) will weaken your immune system.

Therefore, when you have ADD and you continually procrastinate and do things under stress at the last minute, your body loses the ability to fight off infection and disease.

All the more reason to learn new and better ways for coping with deadlines and pressure…huh?

Just one little note about this article. It comes from a religious website and I want to stress that I have no affiliation with this site or religion. I don’t want anyone to think I am pushing religion on you!

...we’ll leave that to Tom Cruise.

Do You Need A Simon Cowell In Your Life?

Even if you don't watch American Idol, you know who Simon Cowell is. The brutally honest, sometimes nasty, and always amusing judge who is constantly making headlines.

People love him or hate him. He tells contestants - straight up and in no uncertain terms - what he thinks about their ability to sing and make a career out of it.

Some people consider him mean and - granted - he can be very nasty in the way that he communicates his opinions.

But do you sometimes watch -- as a contestant comes in looking completely disheveled and proceeds to sing like a screeching tire -- and find yourself thinking "Come on, why did this guy even bother trying out?"

So then, is it really that wrong for Simon to honestly tell the guy "Find another career, because you will not make it as a singer"? I don't think it is.

Sometimes, we need someone in our lives to cut through the bullshit and tell it like it is. Not in a mean way, but in an honest and supportive way.

The challenges of ADD often lead us to become frustrated and beat ourselves up and feel sorry for ourselves...and that's okay. Sometimes. But there (hopefully) comes a time when you realize that this behavior doesn't get you very far. There comes a time when it's helpful to have a Simon Cowell hold up a mirror in front of you and say "this just isn't working, it's time to do something else."

It's kind of what coaching is all about.
...only without the cheeky comments and funny faces.

Live Below the Neck

Well, our favorite reality TV ADDer, TJ, graduated from the Starting Over house today. I'll refrain from the criticism of the way the show responds to ADD, because it's been said before. What I'd rather focus on today is a brilliant thing that TJ said before she left. She said that she hopes to "live below the neck."

Wow. Those 4 little words really summed up a common ADD problem so well - we tend to get stuck in our heads. We get caught up in stress and chaos that leads to frantic feelings and an inability to get out of our heads. We're always thinking, thinking, thinking! Actually, most of us think a hell of a lot more than we do!

So then, to "live below the neck" means 2 things to me. First it means breaking that cycle of getting caught up in all the thinking - the "I need to do this," "I should be doing this," "If I only I could change this," "I wish I could do this," on and on and on and on!

But it also means something else to me.  I have noticed that when I am very psychical - going to the gym, doing yoga, meditating at night, going for long walks my dog, scheduling lots of social activity - I feel really good.  In fact, I feel best when I balance the activity that goes on above the neck (in my head) and below the neck (in my psychical body.) 

Unfortunately, it's easy to upset that balance.  I think this week I'll be reminding myself to "live below the neck."

TJ is Graduating from Starting Over?

Today on "Staring Over," TJ - our favorite reality TV ADDer - learned that she will be graduating. This means that her life coach, Rhonda, believes TJ has learned the skills she needs and has made changes in her life that are signifigant enough for her to move on and lead a fulfilled life.

I musty have missed something.

I don't think TJ got what she needed to thrive with ADD. In fact, I think one of the most important skills she needs to learn was brushed over today in a 10 second "by the way..." moment.

Rhonda informed TJ that she needs to start appreciating her accomplishments and stop looking for things that are wrong.

If it was only that easy!

One of the biggest challenges ADDers have is learning to acknowledge and appreciate their strenghts and accomplishments. When you spend a lifetime being told that you do things wrong or differently, that you could be so much better and do so much more if you just "applied yourself," and you, yourself, feel like you just can't live up to your potential no matter how hard you try, then learning to focus on the good things is no easy task.

In fact, it's one of the hardest things for an ADDer to learn.

It takes more than a 10 second conversation. TJ needs time and tools to learn how to focus on the good things and build on them. It takes practice and encouragement -- and someone to say "yeah, you really did do a good job" over and over again.

TJ was, once again, short changed.

Starting Over Gets It Wrong Again

It has recently come to my attention that a number of Starting Over fans have been reading this blog to get a new perspective on TJ, an adult with ADD in the reality TV show "Starting Over." Welcome!

In light of all these new visitors, I think it's time to revisit the subject of TJ, and the disservice done to her in the Starting Over house.

TJ has a "control issue," according to Rhonda, TJ's life coach. This may be, but there is a reason. ADDers often have "control issues" because life feels so out of control! One of our greatest challenges is to learn how to slow down, breathe, and deal with stress without getting overwhelmed. To do this is no easy task, and TJ could use some support on this instead of the shaming that she so often receives.

In today's episode, TJ is enjoying a visit from her husband, whom we learn also has ADD. Rhonda informs the couple that she does not want their relationship to be based on the shared experience of having ADD. Oh Rhonda, learn about ADD, will you?!?

Right now, TJ's husband Rick is the only one who understands her and the way she is wired. To say that the couple can't put too much emphasis on that is to take away that small sense of understanding that TJ has in world.

Most ADDers absolutely, positively DO need to have their ADD be a central part of their identity. We do things differently. Our brains are wired differently. We have strengths in areas that many others don't - like intense creativity and sensitivity for others, and we have challenges in many areas that others don't - like organization and time management.

Many of us have creative gifts that others envy, but can't - for our lives - make it to an appointment on time! This disconnect almost always leads to a sense of not belonging in the world, and the only thing that remedies this is to understand that you are not alone.

TJ needs to be allowed to embrace her ADD, and to get to know it really well. She needs to be encouraged not just to work on her challenges and deficits, but also to focus on her personal strengths.

There is no other way to coach a person with ADD. Period.

ADHDTV

From the ONION

FCC: All Programming To Be Broadcast In ADHDTV By 2007

WASHINGTON, DC—The Federal Communications Commission voted 3-1 Monday to require electronics manufacturers to make all television sets ADHD-compatible within two years.

To adhere to the guidelines, every program, with the exception of The Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi Show, will have to be sped up to meet the new standard frame rate of 120 frames per second.

FCC Chairman Kevin Martin characterized the move as "a natural, forward-thinking response to the changing needs of the average American viewer."

"In the media-saturated climate of the modern age, few have the time and energy to sit still for an entire episode of King Of Queens," Martin said. "Although the FCC will leave it up to the television networks to make the necessary programming changes, we are recommending, in accordance with the ADHDTV standard, that all shows be no more than six minutes in length, and that they contain jarring and unpredictable camera cuts to shiny props and detailed background sets."

"We're also advising that intra-episode recaps occur every 45 seconds," he added.

The ruling represents a growing shift toward ADHDTV, a television format designed to meet the needs of an increasingly inattentive and hyperactive audience. The tuner includes a built-in device that automatically changes channels after three minutes of uninterrupted single-station viewing, as well as a picture-in-picture-in-picture-in-picture option.

According to Sony, the leading manufacturer of the ADHD-compatible sets, the new technology will allow viewers to play up to three simultaneous video games while watching television.

Two Lansing, MI children watch an ADHDTV promo for the entire prime-time network lineup.

"Many of our ADHDTVs will come with a motorized base," Sony spokesperson Richard O'Dell said. "In the event that the viewer turns his attention away from the television, it will begin to rotate and emit sirens and piercing shrieks."

The mandate to conform to the new format has already been met with some resistance, particularly from movie channels like HBO, live programs such as ABC's Monday Night Football, and the History Channel, whose ambitious five-part, 10-hour historical documentary about World War II, slated for completion in late 2007, will have to be shortened to a six-minute montage of the war set to a medley of Ashlee Simpson hits.

Some networks, however, are embracing the change.

"A majority of our shows are only watchable for a few minutes at a time anyway," said Fox president Peter Liguori, whose recently unveiled fall 2007 TV schedule includes over 850 new series. "We're going to roll out an exciting lineup of major sporting-event highlights, late-night yell shows, and a brand-new season of The O.C. that will feature 37 new characters and—well, I don't want to give too much away, but let's just say it will have a lot more guys jumping up and down, saying, 'Hey! Hey! Look over here!'"

On standard 4:3 televisions, ADHDTV programs will be shown in letterbox format, with the top and bottom of the screen alternately filled with bright, flittering butterflies, undulating rainbow-colored patterns, and singing hamsters in top hats.

Skeptics say the switch to ADHDTV will likely be delayed in favor of other projects or even completely forgotten by next week. However, the FDA is fast-tracking approval of the new drug Entertainalin, developed in anticipation of the modified programming. In clinical trials, the drug has been effective in helping viewers concentrate not only on the new TV format, but also on their immediate surroundings, the couch fabric, a dog passing by the window, and pieces of lint floating in the air.

More ADD on Starting Over?

YES! At least that's what I think. It's not just TJ who has ADD on Starting Over, I think Lisa does, too.

Lisa shows many classic signs of ADD. She has trouble following through, she feels like a fraud, she feels like she is not living up to her potential, she is emotionally reactive when frustrated...I could go on and on.

Lisa was given an assignment of running a jewlery business. She showed her work to store owners, and then sold orders for more necklaces. Along the way, she procrastinated, became overwhelmed and frustrated, was slowed down by perfectionism, and ultimately felt like a failure for not being able to follow through the way she intended.

Her life coach made her feel bad about it and, well...rubbed it in!

This is a great example of why adults with ADD need specially trained ADD coaches. If Lisa was my client, I'd be working with her to increase her awareness of her challenges and strengths, build her confidence, and change her thinking patterns. We'd be finding new ways for her to meet her goals in such a way that works with her ADD, rather than against it. Starting Over is making Lisa do the same old, same old...expecting a magically different result this time around without changing the process. As an ADD coach, it's frustrating to watch.

I hope that Lisa gets evaluated for ADD soon, and gets the coaching that she needs to really help her succeed.