Experiencing ADDvantages

Adult ADD: Shame on Martha Stewart

In the first 2 minutes of this clip from her show, Martha Stewart tells Ludacris that he can't have ADD and write good music.

Wow! The "Domestic Diva" is misinformed about adult ADD. Just ask Justin Timberlake.

The Economy and Your ADD

The 'doom and gloom' is upon us. It's in the papers, on the web, and all over the TV. Your friends, family, and neighbors can't stop talking about it.

The 'economic crisis' is on everyone's mind, and fear and anxiety are everywhere. Is it affecting you and your ADD?

If you're weathering the storm without feeling overly fearful and anxious, then bravo! I applaud you and encourage you to keep doing whatever is working for you.

However, if you're experiencing an abundance of negative thoughts and anxiety about the current financial climate, then keep reading.

What I don't want to talk about today is finance and economics. I'm not qualified to advise anyone in this regard.

What I am qualified to talk about is how a climate of fear and anxiety can wreak havoc on an ADDer, and what you can do about it. So let's begin by briefly looking at the reasons why ADDers in particular are having a difficult time right now.

First, adults with ADD are 'spongy.' We have a tendency to absorb our environments. So if we're surrounded by good news and happy, positive people, then we feel great. But if we're surrounded by bad news and worried and anxious people, then we can quickly find ourselves feeling worried and anxious, too.

Second, adults with ADD also have a tendency towards negative thoughts, rumination, and general anxiety. Anxiety is a very common co-existing condition for adults with ADD. Anxiety can increase ADD challenges, and ADD challenges can increase anxiety.

So you can see how the everyday challenges of ADD and/or anxiety combined with financial woes and a media circus can easily send an adult with ADD into a tailspin!

Specifically, I've been hearing from adults with ADD about how difficult it's been to:

• Stay focused at work without getting distracted by the financial news stories and updates.
• Reassure their family members (especially aging parents) that things will be okay.
• Fall asleep at night when they are so worried about their jobs and mortgages.

In response to these concerns, I've compiled an 'ADD Management Action Plan' to help you move forward in the present moment. Remember, this is NOT financial advice. It IS about managing your ADD when things are particularly stressful.

ADD Management Action Plan

1. Cut down on media time. This means television news, newspapers, and online news. It might also mean cutting off conversations with 'chicken little' types who want to dump their own anxiety on you.

In order to manage your own anxiety, you have to remove yourself from everyone else's. You can get all the news and information you need by watching one news broadcast, reading one newspaper, or visiting one website. Limit your news time to no more than 30 minutes a day.

2. Manage the everyday stress in your life. The overriding theme of my book Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD and my coaching is that Stress Management = ADD Management.

The more you control your stress, the easier it becomes to control your ADD challenges. You'll need to be calm, centered, and relatively stress-free in order to make good decisions about your finances and your future.

3. Stop brooding and take action. Express your fears, worries, and anxiety to the appropriate people. You might have some legitimate concerns about your job, your mortgage, and your retirement savings. Talk to your spouse, your financial adviser, your accountant, or anyone else you need to. Seek solid explanations for the things you don't understand. Get the facts before you make assumptions.

Additionally, talk out your anxiety when you feel it setting in. Journal about it if you have to. Don't let those thoughts swim around in your head and become rumination!

And if you can't seem to get a hold on your anxiety no matter what you do, then don't hesitate to talk to your doctor or a therapist.

Remember, you're not alone. Many ADDers are having a hard time coping right now. But you CAN do something about it!

How is the current economic situation affecting YOUR ADD? Please share your thoughts on in the comments field!

ADD Olympic Events

Alan David Stein offers this fantastic idea for ADD Olympics which absolutely cracked me up:

THE CLUTTERTHON: The Gold medal goes to the participant not who finishes cleaning up first, but who STARTS the cleanup first. This event will be the first to begin, right after the opening ceremonies. Two weeks later, if no one has stepped up, then no award will be given.

Check out Alan interviewing me about adult ADD on his former radio show last month:

Attention Coaches: Join Me on the ACO Expert Speaker Series Tonight

I'll be presenting for the ADHD Coaches Organization tonight on How to Use a Book (or Other Media) to Propel Your Coaching Career.

This will be a casual presentation in which I talk about using your own authentic voice--in all forms of media--to attract the right clients.

I'll also be taking lots of questions about my book--why I wrote it, how I did it, what to expect if you want to write a book, etc.

If you're a coach, especially an ADD coach, then you'll definitely want to join us live!

This teleclass will take place at 8pm EST and is for ACO members only. Visit www.adhdcoaches.org for more info.

Adult ADD on the Radio

Tomorrow, July 1st, I'll be a guest on Alan David Stein's  radio show on WCTC 1450 AM. We'll be talking about adult ADD.

You can listen in central New Jersey on 1450 AM, or you can listen live on the web by visiting www.wctcam.com and clicking on the "Listen Live" button in top left column. Although I'll be on air at about 5pm tomorrow, Alan's highly entertaining show is on weekdays from 3-7pm and is well worth the listen!

"See" you on the radio!

Adults with ADD: Your Environment Can Make or Break You

An interesting and encouraging study was released this week that all adults with ADD need to know about.

The study suggests that a gene linked to ADD actually helps carriers in nomadic tribes in Kenya stay well-nourished, while it does the opposite for carriers settled tribes.

If that seems slightly convoluted, it can be simply summed up in this way: The findings seem to indicate that ADD can be either an advantage or a disadvantage, depending on one's environment.

A nomadic lifestyle, in which people are continually on the move, is arguably more stimulating than a settled lifestyle. And we all know that the ADD brain (and/or body) needs stimulation to be happy. Boredom is like torture for an ADDer.

So How Do These Findings Affect You?

Of course, different conclusions can be drawn from this study. However, everyone seems to agree that it suggests an evolutionary benefit to ADD. (We're wired this way for a good reason!)

To me, the data supports the idea that environment can "make or break" a person with ADD. An ADDer with a job that bores them will not be as successful as an ADDer with a job that challenges and excites them.

Similarly, an ADDer that leads a rich and stimulating life outside of work by engaging their interests, making time for their hobbies, and enjoying  their friends and family will be much happier than an ADDer who comes home from work, stresses about how dirty their house is, and then checks out and retreats to the computer for hours.

Hold Your "Yeah, but..."

If you're reading this and thinking to yourself, "Yeah, but it would be too much work to find a better job" or "Yeah, but my house IS really dirty and I can't possibly do something fun until I clean up," then you're missing the point. And you're missing out on life!

Here's a little secret that I'd like to share with you: when you create an environment that works with your ADD (not against it), your self-esteem increases, which in turn increases your motivation to accomplish the smaller and more boring tasks (like updating your resume or cleaning your house). This is one of the big themes that runs throughout my book, Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD.

Creating more stimulating and supportive environments for yourself, like a challenging job, a night out with friends, or a class on an interesting topic, will lead to getting more stuff done in the long run.

If you don't believe me, try it. I dare you.

Have thoughts on this article or the study referenced? Please share them here!

 

Adults With ADD Are Costing the Nation?

My colleague and Associate Coach, Sharon Howell, posted earlier today about a recent study that claims adults with AD/HD work 22 days less per year than those without it.

The study doesn't point to lost days so much as lost productive time for those with AD/HD. The implication here is that if employers offered more help (diagnostics and medication coverage) for adults with AD/HD, then people will be more productive and the companies will be more profitable.

With respect to Sharon, who makes a great point about the positive effects that can result from this study, including better AD/HD health care and treatment coverage by employers, I'd like to officially give you all my opinion: This study is utter bullshit.

The adults with AD/HD I know work harder than most. Sure, we may not have the same work habits, but that doesn't mean we're less productive.

Ever gone in on an off day to catch up? Ever worked way later than you wanted to simply because you wanted to get things off your plate? Ever pulled an all-nighter to turn out one hell of a project that got you lots of praise?

Adults with ADD work, we just don't always work the same way, or in the same time frame, that other people do.

What's YOUR opinion? I'd love to hear it!

Authenticity and ADD

The ADD community has been pretty vocal lately, as you may be aware.

Some people feel that they are being taken advantage of by ADD professionals who market their services online.

And others are upset about what they consider to be the high fees for ADD-related products and services. They want to know why getting help costs so much money.

Maybe you've been wondering about these things, too?

I think it's time for me to weigh in.

Hey, What's That Smell?

One of the things I pride myself on is authenticity.

When you read my book, newsletters, or blog, you're reading my authentic voice. Clients, friends, and family members have all commented that reading my book is like having a conversation with me.

The same is true when you coach with me, either privately or in a group. I say what I think in the way that I think it will be best received.

In fact, the only thing I hold back on in my life and my work is swearing. I curse like a truck driver. Some people are fine with this, and I try to tone it down for others. And I caused quite a few jaws to drop when I accidentally let the s-word slip at Disney a few years ago. It could have been much worse-believe me.

Here's what I really think about authenticity and ADD:

While some people believe that adults with ADD can be easily taken advantage of, I actually think that the vast majority of us can smell a bullshit artist a mile away. I know I certainly can.

I can also tell when well-meaning people say or do things that don't come across the way they intend them to.

Have YOU ever stuck your foot in your mouth? Ever said something that came out completely wrong and ended up hurting someone's feelings? I have. Many times.

So I try not to hold it against other people who are saying one thing when they actually mean another. Sometimes the best intentions are overshadowed by poor communication.

That said,...

One Size Does Not Fit All in the World of ADD

If you take medication for ADD, then you know that there are a bunch of different meds out there and that it can take a while to find the one that works for you. And then it can take a while to find the right dose!

And if you've read a bunch of books on ADD, then you probably found one or two that you didn't like as much as everyone else did. The same holds true for websites, support groups, and other resources. You might find value in something that others don't.

We all have ADD, but we're all individuals.

This applies to marketing, too. My sense is that many people have been turned off not so much by the ADD professionals who are marketing themselves, but by the one-size-fits-all marketing approaches that they've encountered.

These marketing approaches can sometimes come off as sleazy or, worse yet, inauthentic. If you find yourself turned off by such an approach, then that's okay.

If you don't like the way one person markets their services, you can always find what you're looking for elsewhere.

Take this newsletter, for example. Some people are going to hear my voice and instantly relate to it. Others won't. That's the way it goes.

And you know what, that's a good thing! If someone doesn't relate to me, or even like me, that's okay. I don't like everyone, either! And the good news is that there are plenty of other ADD coaches and service providers out there. It's not hard to find someone that you can relate to.

It's also worth noting that for many of us in the professional field, our work is our livelihood. Just like any other service provider, we have certain fees that we charge based on a number of factors, including our own experience and the value that people receive from our services.

If you wanted help with real estate, you'd pay more for personal advice from Donald Trump than you would to attend one of his seminars. And you'd pay more for his seminars than you would to read his books. The same is true in the world of ADD.

Which brings me to my last point. I have a very stong opinion about finding help for ADD:

If you NEED help for ADD, then don't look for it online. Look for a doctor, therapist, or support group in your local area. Sometimes you have to travel further than you would like or spend more than you want to, but it's worth it.

If you WANT help for ADD, but the situation isn't dire, then broaden your search beyond your local area. This is where the Internet and trends in global communication really pay off.

Just remember that there are plenty of professionals offering their services.

One size doesn't fit all.

What Do YOU Think?

I would really love to hear your thoughts on the subject of "authenticity and ADD."

Let's have a conversation. I encourage you to tell me what you think in the comments field below.

Creativity and Adult ADD: Get In The Box!

Last year, Erin and I met with a business consultant to discuss plans for the ADD Management Group. During the meeting, the consultant mentioned something about my "out of the box" ideas, and Erin stopped her.

"Everyone always talks about 'out of the box' ideas!" Erin exclaimed. "Where is this box that everyone talks about? I've never understood what 'out of the box' means."

The consultant smiled very sweetly at Erin and simply replied, "That's because you are the box, Erin."

Boxes Are Our Friends

I've said it many times - Adults with ADD are creative, big picture thinkers. It's easy for us to be creative. It's easy to float from one interesting thing to the next.

It's actually much harder to harness that creative energy and turn it into productivity. Producing results requires putting a lid on your creativity long enough to let the ideas come to life. It means getting in the box and containing the ideas before they get too big to manage or--worse yet--before they float away.

This is what Erin does for the ADD Management Group. I offer the ideas, and she puts them in the box. She grounds things just enough to ensure that the good ideas get pushed into action. It works.

Of course, this is a business example, and our personal lives are slightly different. As adults with ADD, you and I are responsible for creating our own structure and containment.

This means that in order to benefit from our creative ideas, we've got to:

Be realistic about which ideas are worth pursuing, which ones are worth ditching, and which ones are worth saving for a rainy day.

Plan to follow through on those really good ideas. It's not enough to think about how great something could be. An action plan is essential.

Remember when your high school English teacher taught you to answer the questions 'Who, what, where, when, why, and how' in your essays? Answering these six little questions is an excellent way to devise a plan.

Structure our time to produce results. This means making time to act on the good ideas while still managing day-to-day life. It means setting deadlines and finding ways to remain accountable.

You've heard that saying, 'There's a time and place for everything,' right? It applies here. There's a time to be creative, and there's a time to be productive.

Your creative brain can be an incredible asset in life ...provided that you get in the box once a while and contain it.

Do you have comments on this topic? I'd love to hear them! Please share your thoughts.

Beating Up Your Best Friend

Adults with ADD can be really hard on themselves. We often beat ourselves up over the smallest things, kicking self-esteem into the gutter and quashing motivation.

When a client berates herself for forgetting something, running late, or making a mistake, I ask her to breath and take a step back.

"If your friend made this innocent, simple mistake, would you berate her in the same way you're berating yourself?"

"No," is always the answer.

"So if you wouldn't treat your friend this way, why would you treat yourself this way?"

            Silence usually follows as the person realizes just how unfair she is being--to herself.

ADD-Libber has a great post on this subject, called "being your own best friend." Check it out!