Experiencing ADDvantages

Do You Have AD/HD In the Family?

Did you know that experts believe AD/HD is genetic? So if one person in your family has AD/HD, chances are at least one other person does, too. I don't know about you, but that explains why my extended family is so chaotic!

When you live in a household with more than one ADDer, you often have double the stress, double the overwhelm, and double the chaos! The challenges are even more complicated by the fact that while AD/HD has some common symptoms and challenges, no two people are alike.

Fortunately, there are some very basic and simple strategies that you can employ to ensure that your AD/HD household runs smoothly. And these strategies will work if you're the only ADDer in your home, or if you're surrounded by other ADDers!

1. Keep individual stress levels down.

The more stressed out you are, the harder it is to manage your AD/HD challenges. Time management, organization, focus, and other challenges become more difficult than ever to control successfully. Consequently, the more stressed out individual family members are, the more difficult it becomes to live with them!

Stress management needs to be a priority for everyone in the home, and that includes non-ADDers, too!

2. Focus on individual strengths.

ADDers respond much better to praise than criticism. Acknowledgment of strengths increases self-esteem and provides energy and motivation to continue building on success.

It's human nature to respond positively to praise, as negatively to criticism. So shower everyone in the household with praise and recognition to create a happy and positive environment!

3. Create structure.

Kids tend to need more structure than adults, but everyone in the household can benefit from some predictability.

Structure in the form of bedtime routines, meal schedules, and fun time can do wonders for adults with AD/HD who often need a little more help slowing down. And non-ADDers will appreciate knowing when they can count on enjoying some time with their ADDers!

AD/HD families need not be stressed out and frantic. With some patience and a little work, the home environment can transform from chaos to calm!

Note: Do check out the no-cost Virtual AD/HD Conference Podcast Series for more tips from the experts on how to manage AD/HD in the family, and how to succeed as an adult with AD/HD. Visit http://ADHDconference.com/podcasts.shtml!

 

Don't Miss Out! The Virtual AD/HD Conference is Just 5 Days Away!

If you do have AD/HD in the family (or even if it's just you, all by your AD/HD lonesome), then you'll definitely want to register for the Virtual AD/HD Conference!

In case you're not familiar with it, the Virtual AD/HD Conference is an online event that brings together your favorite AD/HD experts and hundreds of your peers for education, connection, and inspiration.

My team and I work on this one event 8 months out of the year to make it an ultra-valuable, can't-miss event for the entire AD/HD community, Why do we do it? Well, let me ask you this, %$firstname$%:

Have you ever found yourself up late at night, searching the Internet for answers to your AD/HD questions?

Chances are, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Perhaps you even found me that way? ADDers have a tendency to get stuck online because we're hungry for information and strategies. We search for hours and hours, and then we kick ourselves for wasting so much time! But many people don't realize just how common it is for people like us to be up all night looking for answers.

There’s no need to drive yourself crazy searching for information and strategies when you can find them all in one place, at the Virtual AD/HD Conference. This unique, online event provides you with the opportunity to:

• Access 22 of your favorite AD/HD experts and get your questions answered. Presentations include:
  
  
  • 5 Steps to Creating the Best Possible Marriage with AD/HD with Edward "Ned" Hallowell, MD & Sue George Hallowell, LICSW
  • Change Your Perspective for Success with AD/HD with Patricia Quinn, MD
  • Medications for AD/HD and Co-Existing Conditions with Kenny Handelman, MD
  • AD/HD and Bullying with Susan Leavitt Miller
  • The Power of the Pause: The Difference Between Reacting Impulsively and Responding Rationally with David Giwerc, MCC
  • AD/HD in the Workplace: Issues, Strategies, and Building a Plan for Success with Wilma Fellman, M.Ed
  • Fundamental Strategies to Overcome Inattention, Hyperactivity, and Impulsivity with Ari Tuckman, PsyD, MBA 
  • Overwhelmed! Techniques to Break Through Mental Paralysis with Bonnie Mincu, MA, MBA, SCAC
  • Empowering College Students with AD/HD with Jodi Sleeper-Triplett, MCC, SCAC
  • And many more! Check out the Virtual AD/HD Conference agenda at http://ADHDconference.com/agenda.shtml
• Get the tools that you and your family need to succeed. There's no need to spend hours and hours searching the Internet for answers when they're all in one place!


• Connect with an international community of people who have AD/HD, or are affected by AD/HD. Ask questions, share your experiences, and make a few friends in a supportive, non-judgmental environment.


• Learn in an AD/HD-friendly, online environment. Attend the sessions live via your phone or computer, or download them later at your convenience. All the conference resources (including the session recordings and presentation slides) are yours to keep, so you can continue to access and benefit from them long after the conference is over.

And the best part is that you can do it all from the comfort of your own home or office! You don't have to waste time and money on travel, you don't have to take off work, you don't have to get a baby sitter, and you don't have to be inconvenienced.

Attend live, download later, talk now, talk later...it doesn't matter. You can participate whenever and however it's comfortable for you. After all, this IS an online conference for an AD/HD audience! We couldn't pull it off if we didn't make it AD/HD-friendly!

The conference begins on Monday, October 4.
That's just 5 days away!

If you're still on the fence about registering, you can listen to no-cost podcast previews of 11 upcoming conference sessions at http://ADHDconference.com/podcasts.shtml. (That's a sneak peak at more than half the conference presentations!)

I do hope you’ll join us!

Or visit http://ADHDconference.com to learn more.

I hope to "see" you there next week!

P.S. Don't miss out on this opportunity to get all the tools that you and your family need to succeed, without ever leaving home. Join us at the Virtual AD/HD Conference next week!

Pregnancy: It's Like ADD Squared

Some of you may have already heard the news and, for those of you who haven't, I'm thrilled to share with you that Erin and I are expecting our first little one! I'm due on February 1. :-)

I have to tell you, pregnancy in and of itself has an ADD-like effect on a woman. Many pregnant women refer to this phenomenon as "Preggo Brain." Preggo Brain has all sorts of fun symptoms, such as forgetfulness and poor working memory, clumsiness, disorganization, emotional reactivity, and overwhelm. Sound familiar?

Although there hasn't been much research done, women with ADD are well aware of the link between hormones and Attention Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder. Many women notice that their ADD challenges are amplified with PMS. And preexisting ADD can make the already difficult transition into menopause an absolute horror. I'm sure that men experience changes in their ADD symptoms with fluctuating hormones, as well, but without regular hormonal cycles or predictable hormonal shifts, it's certainly more difficult to pinpoint just how hormones and ADD are teaming up and wreaking havoc.

Come to think of it, "havoc" is a great word to describe what's been going on in my head for the last couple of months. (I'm 15 weeks pregnant.) Things started out great. I didn't have any of the nausea or fatigue that everyone talked about. I was hungry, happy, and getting lots of work done! And then I reached Week 6 of my pregnancy.

Week 6 changed everything. That's when nausea and food aversions, fatigue, and all the other typical pregnancy symptoms presented themselves. And that's when Preggo Brain took over. 

ADD, in combination with Preggo Brain, has me feeling like I've lost a few IQ points. Sometimes I just can't believe how inept I've become. Many of my organizational systems have gone out the window. For years, I've been putting my car keys in a very specific spot on the kitchen counter so that I never lose them. Okay, maybe it's more accurate to say that I know where they are 99% of the time, with just a few minor and rare slip ups. But thanks to Preggo Brain, I have no fucking clue where my keys are. Ever. I've also been losing my cell phone, my water bottle, my iPod, and even my purse. As you can see, some of these things are not just inconvenient to misplace, but could prove to be quite expensive!

I'm also amazed by the fact that my motivation to get organized has all but disappeared. Once again, I blame Preggo Brain. I used to dread cleaning out the fridge or the pantry. But I used to do it, nonetheless, when it was necessary. I knew how to work with my ADD to make the experience less painful. It was never fun, but it gone done. With Preggo Brain, I've become one lazy-ass home owner. We had a party a few weeks ago, and afterward the fridge was stuffed with food. It needed to be cleaned out and organized. When I finally managed to get myself psyched to clean out the fridge, I opened the door, surveyed all the crap, mumbled "Oh, hell no!" and went on my way. "I'll know when things start rotting," I told myself. Now, I may have pulled this crap a long time ago, before knowing that I had ADD, but I've been managing this challenge for years! Until Preggo Brain.

Perhaps my favorite example of Preggo Brain is this one. Erin and I were shopping in Target (this was before finding out about their donations to anti-gay politicians). I remembered something that I wanted to get but I couldn't, for the life of me, remember the thing's name. "We have to get the thing," I told Erin. Of course, her response was "What thing?" All I could say was, "You know, the thing with the thing." I desperately tried to recall the name of the thing with the thing, and Erin calmly tried to guess what I was talking about. The conversation escalated into an argument, with me unreasonably pissed off that Erin did not know what I mean by "the thing with the thing." Preggo Brain. I'm lucky she's so understanding. And please don't ask me what the thing was, because I can't freakin' remember.

I am happy to report that Preggo Brain, along with some of the other unpleasant pregnancy symptoms, seems to be subsiding at this point. I'm still waiting for that burst of energy that pregnant women report getting in the second trimester, though. Until then, I'm doing my best to manage both my ADD and my Preggo Brain. It ain't easy.

How did pregnancy affect YOUR ADD? (Or your partner's ADD?) Tell me about it in the comments! And if you want to predict the sex of the baby, go right ahead! We find out for sure in just a couple of weeks. ;-)

What To Do When Hyperfocus Works Against You

Adults with ADD are both blessed and cursed with the ability to hyperfocus.

Hyperfocus is a unique ability that we have to focus so intensely that the rest of the world temporarily disappears. It's the the opposite of boredom. Instead of having difficulty concentrating or getting started, the hyperfocused ADDer has trouble shifting focus away from the interesting subject at hand.

Hyperfocus can be a really good thing. If you're highly interested in what you're concentrating on, then the ability to hyperfocus is an asset. It can help you get through a difficult task, like a report for work or a household problem that needs to be fixed.

It can also help tremendously during creative periods in which your juices are flowing and you're having fun writing, painting, crafting, or expressing yourself in an artistic outlet.

This positive hyperfocus is what I call "being in the flow." You enjoy what you're doing—whether whether it's work, problem-solving, or being creative. You're productive and you enjoy not only what you're doing, but also the fact that you're making progress. Your thoughts and actions are flowing.

However, hyperfocus can also be a bad thing. Adults with ADD often go into hyperfocus mode when a stressful problem or situation presents itself, and the inability to tear yourself away results in more stress. This can happen when writing a paper for school, trying to solve a problem at work, attempting to fix a broken gadget, or even surfing the Internet.

Negative hyperfocus is what I call "being in the stick." It's really about an inability to shift focus, and the frustration that results. You want to finish a task or make progress but your frustration in the situation has you feeling unable to move on. You become determined to do what you set out to do at any cost. (Perfectionism often causes negative hyperfocus.)

In this state, you keep telling yourself, "Just two more minutes. I've got to get this." But it's never just two more minutes. Your thoughts and actions are stuck. You don't feel good about making progress. You feel compelled to finish what you set out to do at all costs—including losing sleep, skipping meals, and compromising your mental health.

In short, positive hyperfocus feels good and makes you happy. Negative hyperfocus feels bad and makes you stressed.

Negative hyperfocus is very difficult to break out of. It takes a lot of awareness and a healthy dose of rationalizing self-talk. Forcing yourself (yes, forcing yourself) to get unstuck by stopping and de-stressing is essential to breaking the pattern.

It helps to remember that in that stressed out and frantic state, the things you actually accomplish are often inferior to what you would accomplish in a relaxed state. Operating from a calm and centered place is sure to produce better results than operating from a stressed and frantic place.

So the next time you find yourself hyperfocusing, stop and check in with yourself to determine if you're fantastically flowing, or stressfully sticking.

Ask yourself: Do I feel good about what I'm accomplishing, or am I just stressed out? If the answer is "I'm just stressed," then take a step to break the pattern. Walk away.

When do you find yourself being in the stick of hyperfocus? How do you break out of it? Please share your thoughts in the comments below!

Mission to Mars: Boredom and Adult ADD

Did you hear about the Russian experiment that has a team of 6 researchers on a 520-day mock mission to Mars?

The experiment is designed to simulate the conditions that astronauts would endure on a real trip to Mars. The team will be isolated from the rest of the world for over a year, and even their communications to mission control will be on a 20-minute delay, just as if they were actually in space.

I pay attention to news stories like these because I'm a bit of a space geek. I always planned to major in Astronomy in college, but that plan went out the window when I found out that degree required 5 semesters of calculus. No thanks! I could barely stay awake in Calculus 101--which didn't help at test time.

But the reason I'm calling this story to your attention is because when I was watching the coverage on CNN, they interviewed a psychologist who commented that the greatest challenge these men will face is boredom. Boredom, she said, leads to anxiety, depression, and conflict.

Tell me about it! When boredom is arguably the greatest challenge that adults with ADD face, is it any wonder that we're plagued with these coexisting conditions, too?

Adults with ADD almost always suffer from depression or anxiety at some point in their lives. (If it isn't a constant struggle.) "The quiet ADD brain will almost always go to the negative," an MD friend once told me. It takes a high level of self-awareness to train the ADD brain away from automatic negative thinking. I'm not sure why this is, but I've certainly seen it to be true.

And while "conflict" a diagnosable co-existing condition, it's definitely another challenge for adults with ADD. The ADD brain likes stimulation, and will often create conflict in the absence of stimulation. This can be in the form of conflict with others, or conflict with self.

Just the other day, a client commented to me that he wasn't sure why he and his wife were fighting over "really stupid things," but he was pretty sure that he had started it "for no good reason." As the conversation progressed, he could recount many times in his life when, as he put it, "I made myself the center of drama." We talked about better ways that he could find stimulation, because he was getting tired of all the conflict and drama in his life. He's not the first client I've coached on this topic.

Thinking about these things makes me feel for the six men on the mock mission to Mars. How will they survive a year and half of sheer boredom? I wonder if they're incredibly zen, or just fucking crazy. Probably a little of both.

One thing's for sure, I'd never survive a 520-day mission to Mars. I couldn't even survive a semester of Calculus.

ADD Maverick Minute: Trouble Focusing? Try Fidgeting!

ADD at the Movies

Whenever we get a little bored or need to occupy our time, Erin suggests going to the movies. I almost always shoot down that idea. And it wasn't until very recently that I realized why I have an aversion to "going to the movies." It all has to do with my ADD.

I like movies as much as anyone else. But there is something about the movie theater experience that makes me hesitate to go. Just think about the many ways that the movies are not ADD-friendly:

• You have to be on time. In fact, you have to be early if you don't want to get stuck sitting in the front row and craning your neck the whole time.
• You have to sit still - and be quiet - for at least an hour and a half.
• The concession stand is an impulsivity accident waiting to happen.
• If you get bored, you can't multitask and, say, go through the mail to help ease your boredom.
• The distractions are endless and constantly threaten to ruin your whole experience. I'm thinking about that guy next to you who thinks the arm rest is his. Or that one woman who laughs so loud you miss more dialogue than you catch. Or that kid behind you who absentmindedly kicks the back of your seat the whole time.

If you're like me then, sometimes, going to the movies just isn't worth it!

However, if there's a flick you're just dying to see, don't fret. There are a few things you can do to make sure you have a good time:

1. Find a really comfortable theater and make it your own. Having to sit in the same position for a while isn't that bad when you're comfortable.
2. Avoid movies at peak times. The theaters get crowded quickly on Friday and Saturday nights. You run the risk of getting stuck in the front row, and the bigger the crowd, the more likely you are to get stuck with those annoying and distracting people.
3. Break the rules and bring a snack. I know you're not technically supposed to bring outside food into the movie theater, but I say screw it! I like to make a pit stop on the way to the movies to pick up a tootsie pop or two. They last a long time, and I'm so much less likely to be drawn in by the concession stand when I know I have a little something in my bag.

Do you find that it challenging to go to the movies and have a good time? What do you do to manage your ADD--or your environment--when you want to enjoy a movie? Please share your thoughts in the comments!

Video: ADD in the Workplace

I'm excited to share a video with you today of a recent interview I did for PC-TV in Westchester County, NY. I was featured on the public television show Taming the Cubicle Jungle, a show that gives voice to and provides solutions for challenging workplace issues.

Host Donna Scimia invited me to discuss adult ADD in the workplace, and we covered topics like success strategies, whether or not to disclose your ADD to your employer, and ways that managers can best help their ADD employees.

You can watch the episode online by visiting http://www.pctv76.org/show.php?epid=220, or by clicking this image:

Donna has covered a number of interesting topics on the show, so you may want to check out some of the other episodes on the site, too!

What do you do to manage your ADD challenges at work? Share your thoughts in the comments!

It's Time to Get Your Career in Gear!

If you found the strategies in my last post helpful, then you may want to consider joining us for the Get Your Career in Gear Webinar this Wednesday, June 17th.

Whether you're searching for a job, or trying to hang on to the one you've got, this webinar will teach you how to:

• Find -- and keep -- the right job for you
• Utilize your unique strengths on the job
• Build a personal brand that will allow you to stand out and shine in the workplace
• Tame the stress and anxiety of managing your career

The webinar is an online learning event that you can attend from the comfort of your own home or office. Sessions include:

Session #1: Finding A Career That Works For You: 10 Steps to Better Career Decisions with AD/HD with Career Counselor Wilma Fellman, MEd, LPC

Session #2: Using Personal Branding for Job Search & Long Term Career Success: Maximizing Your Most Important Asset - YOU! with International Personal Branding Expert Paul Copcutt

Session #3: Managing Career Stress and Anxiety in an Uncertain Economy with Ari Tuckman, PsyD, MBA

I personally created this webinar for adults with ADD who want to take control of their careers. I don't know of any other webinar or program that teaches you how to manage your career while taking into account your ADD!

Please visit the webinar website at www.ADHDcareeringear.com to read more and determine if this event is a good fit for you!

Top 5 Ways to Manage Your ADD at Work

Welcome to all the new readers who found us as a result of my appearance on NBC's TODAY Show! If you didn't catch the clip yet, you can watch it at ADDmanagement.com
/todayshow.html.

On Wednesday of last week, I did another TV appearance, this time on the public television show "Taming the Cubicle Jungle." It's broadcast in Westchester County, NY, but I'll share the clip with you as soon as I get it!

During the show, host Donna Scimia interviewed me about adult ADD at work. And, of course, the big question was, "What can a person do to best manage their ADD on the job?" Here's what I answered!

1. Manage your stress both in and out of work.

Many of you know what I always say about stress: Stress Management = ADD Management! The more stressed out you are, the harder it is to be on time, stay organized, focus, and get along well with others.

Real Life Example: One client I work with locks herself in the ladies room and meditates when things get stressful at work.

2. Clearly separate your personal and professional time.

When you mix your personal and professional lives, you open yourself up to more stress, and a lack of focus results. Stay in the present moment. Focus on personal matters at home, and leave professional matters at the office.

Real Life Example: A former client instructs his wife, kids, and friends NOT to email him at work. Instead, he directs them to his personal email account, which he only checks at home.

3. Take a lunch (or other break.)

While it's tempting to work through lunch when the pressure is on, this isn't always the best choice for an adult with ADD. Because we have a low tolerance for frustration, we need to relax and recharge periodically during the day in order to function optimally.

Real Life Example: When I worked in a corporate office, I took advantage of my employer-sponsored gym membership and workedout during my lunch hour. This help me burn off stress, and increased my energy for the afternoon.

Now that I work from home, I take my dogs for a long walk during my lunch break. (Yes, I'm talking about little Rascal and Trixie, who are now TV stars in their own right, thanks to The TODAY Show!)

4. Work with your natural energy flow.

Pay attention to how you feel during the day, and you will soon discover that there are certain times in your day when you consistently feel alert, energized, and focused. Take advantage of these times! Use them to work on projects that require more brainpower or sustained focus.

Real Life Example: One client avoids scheduling meetings for 60 minutes after she eats lunch. For about one hour after eating, she feels tired and has a hard time concentrating. Rather than struggling to pay attention during these times, she does her best to avoid placing herself into a difficult situation.

5. Take 15 minutes every day to plan your time and to-dos.

The key to time management (and project management) is planning in advance. To-do lists are essential, because they help you keep track of what's going on. Scheduling your day helps you feel more in control of your time, and helps you set realistic expectations for what you can accomplish.

Real Life Example: I recommend that EVERY adult with ADD take 15 minutes a day--every day-- to review your to-do list and plan your day in advance. I do it, too!

How do YOU manage your ADD on the job? Feel free to share your tips and thoughts in the comments!

P.S. The Get Your Career in Gear Webinar is a one-time event that takes place this Wednesday!

If you'd like to join me, 3 top career and adult ADD experts, plus your adult ADD peers, then register today at www.ADHDcareeringear.com!

5 Strategies for ADDed Effectiveness on the Job

For many people with ADD, life at work can be difficult. If your working environment is not ADD-friendly, then you may find yourself feeling chronically disorganized and stressed out at work! Whether or not you choose to share your diagnosis with your employer, the following strategies can help you become more effective at work.

1. Find a Career that You're Passionate About

People with ADD have the most success when doing something that they are passionately interested in. If you are in a career or a job that you're not passionate about, chances are your ADD challenges will manifest themselves. The best way to avoid this is to find and engage in work that you truly enjoy and believe in.

2. Develop Structure

It's no secret that ADDers work well with structure. If your job lacks structure, create some! Make sure you have specific deadlines on projects. Request frequent meetings with your manager or team members. Be sure to take a lunch break every day to recharge!

3. Delegate the Details

Think about how much more effective, efficient, and profitable you could be if you didn't have to worry about paperwork! Delegate paperwork and other "boring" tasks wherever possible. Never volunteer to take on a task or an element of a project that doesn't engage your strengths.

4. Plan the Time to Plan

It's not enough to plan your day, you must also plan the time to plan! Take 15 minutes a day to look at your to do list. See what you accomplished and what still needs to be done, and update the list. Also use this time to update your calendars, and break up outstanding projects into steps. You'll feel more in control and less stressed.

5. Get Over Perfectionism

Perfectionism prevents progress. If you find something that could be improved every time you look at a paper or a report, it will never get off your desk. A "good job" is work well done; a "perfect job" doesn't exist! Nothing in this world is perfect, so do yourself a big favor and get over it.

How do you stay effective at work?

P.S. Monday is the last day to save $50 on the Get Your Career in Gear Webinar! Space is limited so don't hesitate if you plan to join us! Register or get more information here.